Storm Warrior
by mbriscoe99
Summary: Bai Zhi OC, once a sorceress of the Yellow Turbans, becomes an officer in Cao Cao's army. But her magic is not what it seems and she discovers a darker side to it that she cannot escape. Will she master her dark power or become its victim?
1. On the Wane

**I made Bai Zhi on the officer edit mode back on Dynasty Warriors 4 and liked her so much that I decided to write her campaign with Wei. I have combined the first three chapters since starting this fic; making the first two chapters into memories to try and improved the flow of the story. Maybe it works, or not… Musical Inspiration: 'Katuman Kaiku' by Turisas, 'Fair and Guiling Copesmate Death' by Theatre of Tragedy, 'On the Wane' by Sirenia… Original characters belong to Koei and Romance of the Three Kingdoms.**

* * *

The sickening rocking motion of being in the saddle was what roused Zhi into semi-consciousness. From there she could feel the throbbing of her head and the nausea and fever that wracked her body. She groaned and tried to shift into a more comfortable position. The realization that she was bound somehow sent a spike of adrenaline through her chest and wrenched her up into full consciousness.

In silent terror, Zhi scrabbled frantically at the bonds that held her wrists before her. Her muddled thoughts could not make sense of her surroundings; horses, men, blue pennants flying, pikes flashing in the sun, a faint drumbeat ahead that throbbed in time with her pounding head and the soldiers' feet on the ground. Only an army could maintain such military precision of the column upon column of riders and battalions of infantrymen. She supposed that the magic she had summoned must have rendered her insensible for she could not remember the events immediately preceding her collapse. She rode on the far right flank of the columns, separate from the ranks of infantry. She did not sit in the saddle alone, but was supported from behind by an unknown somebody, probably Liang. Zhi relaxed.

_Oh great_, she thought, slumping somewhat in relief, _the teasing will be endless!_

Her head lolled weakly against his shoulder as she fought to regain control of her body.

_But why would he tie my hands?_

A wordless cry escaped her when she turned in the saddle, wobbling and flailing feebly as her mind reeled in confusion.

In that instant of seeing his solemn face and shaven head, everything suddenly snapped into place.

"Liang!" Zhi cried in anguish, a wave of panic spurring a fresh attempt to escape her bonds. At the same time, she threw her body to the right. The man grunted in surprise as she made an attempt to vault from the saddle. He tightened his arm around her waist and, face grim, reined his horse over to the side of the road and under a shady tree where he dismounted, dragging Zhi with him, his horse standing obediently ground-tied. The soldiers continued to ride by, unconcerned. Holding her bonds effortlessly in one hand, he rummaged through his saddlebags with his other as she struggled in mounting alarm.

_This is it! _She thought in terror._ He's going to slit my throat_.

Ignoring a fresh wave nausea and pain that suddenly rolled over her, Zhi called Fire.

Both the warrior and the horse started slightly as a sudden burst of flame sparked at her fingertips. She was horrified that she could summon nothing more.

"Ah, ah," he chastened, turning toward her, a small canteen in his free hand. As Zhi stared at him, eyes wide, he proffered it to her and said gravely,

"You should not fear me."

She gazed at him in disbelief but the thought of the water suddenly made her realize that her throat and mouth were parched. Zhi eyed the canteen with both distrust and longing. The man snorted in amusement and took a mouthful. Extending it once more to her, he said,

"See, no poison. You are to be kept alive."

Her thirst finally won her over. Zhi took it from him, hands trembling, her eyes scorching him as her magic failed her. He made a noise that might have been a chuckle.

"I'll bet you're quite the little tigress," he murmured.

She looked away from him and lifted the canteen her lips. The water was slightly warm and tasted of its container, but was the most refreshing drink Zhi could ever remember swallowing.

The water sloshed uncomfortably in her stomach as she handed the canteen back to him. And with that small movement, she was sick. The violence of it bore her to her knees and forced tears out of her eyes. Zhi was vaguely aware of the big man adroitly sweeping her hair back from her face.

After a moment of retching, she regained control and rose shakily to her feet and he handed the canteen to her yet again, this time saying,

"Just rinse your mouth out, then."

Zhi dutifully did as he said. Inside her head, she was screaming at herself to fight, escape, do _**something**_. Her body was not remonstrative. Instead, she watched dully as he tugged a cloth out of his saddlebag and soaked it with the canteen water. He squeezed the excess from it and handed it to her wordlessly, his expression unreadable. Zhi accepted the compress gratefully and placed it over her flushed face and throbbing forehead.

When he tossed her back onto his horse and vaulted into the saddle behind her, Zhi did not struggle; her strength was completely spent. She sagged against him, the compress still covering the majority of her face. She could feel the fever of the magic roaring through her body with a vengeance and did not resist the blackness that took her once again. Her last thought was one of dread for her next waking moment.

* * *

"_So the little sorceress thinks she's a warrior now," Liang teased. _

"_You are just upset because I was given rank equal to your own," Zhi sighed dramatically. "I will probably have to save your life today."_

_Liang snorted and leaned in his saddle to playfully swat her on the head._

"_As if I would need my baby sister to save my life! If anything, one of your fancy fireballs will explode in your face, and I'll have to beat the flames off of you. It would serve you right. And where the hell did you leave your helmet this time? I can see it now – massive head injury. Then __**I'll**__ have to take care of you when you're drooling and shitting yourself."_

"_I'll make you drool and shit yourself…" Zhi waved her machete threateningly._

_And in this matter the siblings continued, good naturedly slinging insults that grew more and more offensive. The sixty or so infantry pike-men around them roared with laughter and tapped lance butts against the ground energetically to a well-placed taunt. Some shouted out encouragement and suggestions. It was a fine spring day and morale was high. The winter had not been particularly harsh - the army had had no want for food - but it had been arduous, for Zhang Jiao's continuing campaign to overthrow the corrupt Han dynasty had taken brother and sister far from home. Bai Liang had been recruited for his legendary horseman's skills. He was the best rider in the province he hailed from and his skills in combat were nearly as good as his skills with the horse. General Guan Hai had promoted him to Horse-Lieutenant from Sergeant within weeks._

_When Zhang Jiao had heard of Zhi's repeated successes with elemental magic, he had sent General Guan Hai to offer her a position in the Yellow Turban army. With Zhang Jiao and his brothers as the only magic users in the army, a rank had to be created. So she became Conjurer-Lieutenant Bai Zhi, equivalent in rank to her brother. His pride in her had warred with his consternation that she was also his peer, leaving him with less opportunity for pranks._

_The Han Dynasty had taken notice of Zhang Jiao's rise in power and had sent General He Fei on a campaign to put an end to the Way. Fortunately, a stroke of good luck had allowed the bulk of Zhang Jiao's army to surprise and blockade them within Xia Pi Castle of the Xu Province. The Yellow Turban troops numbered in the hundreds of thousands and therefore had more than enough men to sustain the siege. Unfortunately, their scouts had discovered that an even more formidable force had been dispatched against the Way of Peace, consisting of powerful Han generals; Cao Cao, Liu Bei, and Sun Jian. A fierce battle was imminent._

_Zhi and her brother had been given a platoon of men, thirty each, and charged to maintain the route of retreat. Twenty archers concealed in the sparse brush growth leading to the retreat point were also under their command. Nevertheless, Liang was frustrated; he had desperately wanted to display his prowess in this battle, in hopes of advancement. Zhi was concerned with merely remaining alive through her first true battle; her skills in the martial arts were rudimentary at best. She would not stab herself in the foot with the machete she wore at her side, but that was about all the use she had had for weapons as yet. She would trust in her magic to keep her safe. Her brother had insisted upon the pair of daggers at her hips as well._

_Her skills with elemental magic had manifested in her early teenage years. Magical talent was rapidly becoming scarce. Despite the wane of abilities, it was still exhibited in women as often as men, nor did gender seem to have an influence on the amount, or lack of, power. She had not been formally tutored in the use of her magic and had learned on her own, spending countless hours learning to call and control the different aspects of the elements. Of the four Greater elements; air, fire, water, and earth; she had mastered fire, with middling success in earth, and almost no accomplishment in controlling air or water. Lighting was the only Lesser element she had been able to gain control over - the others eluded her completely. Fortunately she had two powerful elements she could call at will._

_Unfortunately, use of the controllable elements often left her violently ill, fevers or vomiting being the most common ailments. A formal education from a master would have resolved the issues but time had not been easy to come by. Zhang Jiao himself had sent a missive stating that she would become his official apprentice in the next winter, but that had been before the amassing of Han troops and would not help her now._

_The retreat point was a pass between the large hills north of Xia Pi Castle. A fairly wide river ran between the siblings, the majority of their troops and the castle. Zhi could hear the rush of water from where they waited – a quiet roar that was constant background noise. The battalions of Generals Pei Yuan Shao, Guan Hai, and He Yi were formed up just to the south of the river, ready to attack the castle from the north. The West Gates were manned by General Zhang Liang and his three battalions. Zhang Liang, master of the Water element, was to freeze the water of the river to allow a surprise crossing of the northern battalions should they be required in battle._

_Cliffs rose up near the East Gate, and upon them waited General Zhang Bao, master of the Earth element. His orders were to use repressive force upon the eastern gate and any enemy units that strayed there by pitching boulders over the cliffs. His position was extremely defensible; the twisting, narrow path that led up to his location could be defended easily by archers should any enemy ranks be dispatched directly against him._

_The most powerful Yellow Turban infantry divisions had been placed upon the South Gate. General Yan Zheng and Zhang Jiao himself each commanded the five battalions that were to hold the front line of battle while the northern and western battalions were to take the castle with its single regiment led by He Yi._

_And so it was that Zhi found herself with Liang and their soldiers, about to engage in the most decisive battle that had been fought as of yet. Liang grinned at her brightly from his horse, white teeth flashing in the sun, yellow bandana contrasting brightly with his dark hair. Zhi could only manage a tremulous smile in return. For to the far south, the light of the rising sun was revealing flashes off of random weapons of the enemy armies. Zhi knew she was only seeing the surface of a dark, endless depth. The day already did not feel right. In the near distance, she heard their war horns beginning the initial ground force advances._

_Battle had begun._

* * *

Zhi teetered once again at the very edge of awareness. She shrank away from consciousness, but could hear voices, echoing strangely in the twilight of awareness; she recognized one voice as the hoarse tone of the warrior who had taken her prisoner. Curiosity defeated fatigue and pain and she tuned into what he was saying,

"Her injury is not fatal, nor is it severe enough to be so incapacitating. I would guess a mild concussion – at the very most. The wound is not infected; I do not know how she could have the fever."

The voice that answered him was milder and more cultured.

"There is no reason to be apprehensive, Dian Wei. Her afflictions are not of a physical nature. She suffers from the magic she wielded against you. She has obviously not been trained." He chuckled. "Although it was perhaps a favorable circumstance that she had taken the head injury when she did. Otherwise it would have been difficult for you to contain her; the illness by itself would not have interfered with her using her magic."

Yet a third voice spoke, commanding and intelligent.

"She will heal then." It was not a question and the man continued.

"Sima Yi, I want you to take full precautions with her. Use your strongest containment spell, as long as it does not harm her abilities. Dian Wei, once she has recovered from this affliction, I expect her to be brought to me. That is all."

Both Sima Yi and Dian Wei murmured respectful concurrences. The third man left, for the two spoke as equals once they were alone. The one called Dian Wei said,

"Will you need anything?" His words, stripped of formality, abruptly possessed the cadence and subtle accent of harsher language. It was barely discernible, but Zhi heard it. She surmised that Chinese had not been his first language.

"No, I require nothing; the spell will not be very difficult."

"How many do you recommend for guard duty?"

"At least two, although three would be better if they can be spared. I have never used a spell like this on another magic-user, if she breaks loose…" Sima Yi's voice was fading. Zhi realized she was falling into shadows again, no matter how frantically she clutched at consciousness.

* * *

_An impressive rumble resounded through the wide valley below Zhi and Liang. _

"_Aha!" Liang exclaimed. "Zhang Bao is dropping boulders near the East Gate; He Fei's troops must be testing our offenses."_

_Zhi stood in her stirrups and peered southwest through the high brush, raising a hand to shield her eyes from the sun as it emerged from the horizon. Squinting, she could only just make out a commotion at the eastern gate._

"_I don't know, Liang," she said, "There seems to be too much activity for that to be the troops from the castle."_

"_Bah!" Liang scoffed, "They couldn't have made it through the front lines already; Generals Yan Zheng and Zhang Jiao command ten battalions between the two of them! I tell you, He Fei is foolishly leaving the castle to join his allies."_

_Zhi made no reply, but felt restive. The feeling of wrongness that had stained the spring morning intensified as she watched the flow of battle. As the dust settled from the rock slides, she could begin to see that the front lines had indeed broken and General Liu Bei's green standards had swarmed over the yellow banners to the east. Trepidation filled her heart. She glanced at Liang. His knuckles were white as he clenched the reins and he had set his teeth into his lower lip._

_An indeterminable amount of time passed. The sun did not seem to move much higher into the sky. A sudden commotion just south of their position made the infantry turn to their officers for instruction._

"_What's going on?" Zhi murmured to Liang as she reined her horse closer to his._

"_Zhang Jiao has retreated," he said, keeping his voice low. Neither of them wanted to pass their increasing concern to their troops. Liang pointed to a large yellow standard._

"_See? There flies his banner."_

_As one, Zhi and Liang stood in their stirrups and peered to the south._

"_Yan Zheng had been obliterated," Zhi whispered. Liang nodded._

"_Aye, and by the look of it, Zhang Jiao's troops were not all able to retreat."_

_Zhi settled back into her saddle and gazed at the cliffs overlooking the east gate. Zhang Bao had either retreated or been defeated. She did not say anything to Liang._

"_Arrgghh! I wish I could be down there!" Liang exclaimed. He slammed a gauntleted fist into his thigh, startling his horse and causing him to throw his head up._

"_Oh very good, mighty warrior," Zhi drawled as Liang patted the animal apologetically. "And would you take on the whole of the Han army with the fancy stick you call a sword?"_

_He did not seem amused by her weak attempt to lighten the tension. Her brother was becoming agitated. _

"_By the Heavens, no! But it would be better than sitting here, doing nothing!" His stallion, sensing his frustration and unease, began to dance anxiously. Liang continued to stroke the animal's neck soothingly. Zhi refrained from commenting snidely on his horsemanship at the moment._

"_Look there, Liang." Zhi pointed to a light fog developing over the river. "Zhang Liang is freezing the river. Our troops will cross when he finishes." The understated roar of the river that had been a soothing hum suddenly halted. It was eerie. Zhi frowned._

"_Should the northern battalions be advancing? Liu Bei has taken the east gate and it looks like Cao Cao and Sun Jian progress up through the western hills."_

"_We are not exactly advancing, Zhi. See there? Pei Yuan Shao, Guan Hai, and Zhang Liang are going to try and take the castle!"_

"_To what end!" Zhi asked, incredulous. "Then __**we**__ will be under siege. The Han troops outnumber us now. If we retreat at this time, we can regroup and form a better strategy."_

"_Zhang Jiao knows what is best," Liang said. She could tell, however, that she had shaken him._

"_Zhang Jiao is an ass," she murmured under her breath._

_Her heart pounded as they turned their gazes yet again to the main battle. Some of their troops had made it into the castle and far less than Zhi would have liked remained on the actual field of battle. The valley below swarmed with banners of red, green, and blue, but the yellow pennants seemed pitifully few._

_Unfortunately, Zhi would not witness the defeat of her people, for Evil incarnate was suddenly among her troops._

_Zhi's first outraged thought was that the archers should have been able to do a better job of warning them until she became aware of the first fallen body, longbow still lying in a lifeless hand. Liang gave an inarticulate roar and kicked his stallion into the fray. The pike-men, already eager for battle, made straight for their adversaries just behind Zhi's brother. She dismounted - no horse in its right mind would stand during a summoning - and prepared to call Fire. Sweeping her sword above her head in the standard 'attack' signal, she sent her platoon in just behind her brother, trusting the platoon sergeant to command._

_It did not seem an even contest at first; a shaven-headed horseman on a storm-cloud gray stallion flanked by a mere score of what looked to be mercenaries carrying various types of weapons. Zhi sent a blast of fire into the closest mercenary and he fell, mortally wounded and shrieking as flames consumed him. She intended the next for the big warrior on the horse, who alarmed her with the abrupt and deadly accuracy of his great axe, the likes of which Zhi had never seen used in battle. His skill was astonishing and, even though he was the enemy, Zhi could not help but be in awe of his dexterity notwithstanding her repulsion of his efficient brutality._

_He wore little in the way of armor; greaves and shin-guards of studded leather and a peculiar shield strapped tightly to his left forearm which he used to knock away the attacks of Zhi's pikemen. Other than that, a sleeveless tunic over leggings did not do much to demonstrate his alliance or his partiality for armor. His warhorse topped her own mount by nearly a hand and a half in height and from that alone Zhi surmised that the warrior would have towered over her. He was frightening and amazing and deadly._

_Zhi conjured Fire and __threw__ a sizeable orb of flame at him, only to watch in dismay as he avoided the blast by knocking it aside casually with his axe. He did not spare a glance to see it hit instead a pair of soldiers locked in battle, but turned a fierce gaze to hers and heeled his horse toward her. Zhi drew her sword, nearly dropping it in her haste, and stood ready, her heart hammering. Then she swore viciously as Fire suddenly would not answer her summons and called Lightning instead. She struggled to fashion and manipulate a thread of lightning as he bore down on her, axe raised in a beautiful arc of flashing steel, the hooves of his mount as loud as thunder. Grim smile on her face, she stood her ground and patiently waited for the perfect timing._

_When Zhi judged him close enough, she released the pulsating filament with an echo of thunder. It exploded directly beneath his stallion's nose. Miraculously, he kept his seat, but not control of the horse. Zhi had finally managed to acquire a bit of the Fire element when she looked up to see an enormous hoof obstruct her field of vision. She watched it curiously, for time had seemed to slow. She could not seem to get herself out of its path and was completely vulnerable when it hit her with a great flash of light followed by blissful dark._

* * *

Zhi finally clambered out into awareness. When she realized the giddiness of the fever was gone, she made herself sit up slowly and was rewarded with an immediate throbbing from within her skull. She placed a cautious hand to her head and found a clean bandage wrapped full around it. She was still dressed in the clothing she had worn to battle, minus the leather armor, and she grimaced with distaste as she noticed some of her clothing was dark and stiff with dried blood. Fortunately – and ominously - none appeared to be her own.

In fact, save for her pounding head, Zhi found that she had sustained no other injuries. She looked around at a small but clean cell. There were no windows; the only light came in through a small, barred window high upon the stout door.

She sniffed in contempt. There was no way any wooden door would stand up to the Fire she would throw at it.

Zhi reached for Fire - or at least tried to. She did not have time for astonishment when the wave of pain hit her.

Later, she would not be able to describe it accurately; she felt as if her entire body had been dipped into scalding water or lashed with a whip everywhere at once. A ragged sound of outrage and confusion was all she could manage as she collapsed to the floor, writhing with the pain. She sobbed with relief when it suddenly ceased a moment later and lay for a time, panting and confused. Finally, Zhi sat up uncertainly, and then stood. Nothing happened.

Suddenly furious, she lashed out for Fire and was again overwhelmed with the brutal pain. Just as before, it abruptly left once she quit her attempt to call the magic. She shrieked with useless rage.

The incident left her exhausted. She sat on the cot, wrapped her arms about herself and rocked in agony.

Life was futile. Liang was dead. Zhang Jiao and the comrades she had marched to battle with were all likely dead or scattered to the four corners of China. The only weapon she could wield with any sort of skill, her magic, had somehow been stolen from her. And she was a prisoner. Zhi covered her mouth with one of her hands to keep in the harsh sobs that threatened to escape. She would be damned if she gave her captors the satisfaction of making her cry.

From what she could tell of time, a week passed. Zhi was given food and water from silent, grim-faced guards that changed posts at irregular intervals. Surprisingly, her meals included good fruit and meat along with the normal prisoner fare of rice and water. Bandages and salves for her head injury were also provided. She passed the time with exercise and actively avoiding any thought of despair. She knew that a spiral into depression would inhibit her ability to fight or escape should the opportunity present itself.

On the second day, she discovered the necklace that clasped her throat. It was intricately woven with slightly scratchy material similar to the braiding in rope. Any effort to remove it resulted in the same agony she had encountered while trying to call magic. Zhi forced it from her mind after the first attempt to remove it. She continued to lose weight, strength, and hope as the days passed.

Zhi was dozing in the early hours of morning when they came for her. A trio of expressionless guards entered the cell. She sat up, heart pounding, and faced them warily as they advanced upon her.

She wasn't certain what she had expected, but was surprised when they only secured her hands tightly behind her back and lead her out of the building into a gentle spring morning. Zhi gaped in surprise. In the week she had been confined, full spring had arrived. A faint touch of green smudged the stark black of the bare branches. Some trees had blossomed with pink or white flowers whose scents lightly perfumed the air. She stopped walking to stare and glowered when of the guards brusquely shoved her forward.

Four horses, saddled and provisioned, waited placidly. Zhi was goaded into the saddle of one and the little party started down the road, heading east. The apparent leader of the trio, a lieutenant by the subdued rank insignia sewn onto his blue tunic, held the reins of her horse. Zhi found it awkward balancing in the saddle with her hands behind her back. Her hips and legs were soon weary and sore; she was not the horseman her brother had been.

She angrily blinked back burning tears of grief and fury as her horse was lead further into the spring morning.


	2. Never Enough

Zhi could not help but gaze in astonishment at the great castle that towered before her. It was the largest building she had ever seen; in fact, it appeared to be many buildings connected by open breezeways and lavishly maintained garden courtyards. People of all trades bustled about diligently, pointedly ignoring her and the soldiers.

They entered the heavily guarded main gates and Zhi gasped at the beauty of the main causeway of the central courtyard; cherry trees in full blossom edged the path of crushed white gravel that sparkled in the spring sun. Pink petals dripped sumptuously from the trees. It was a profound moment when she realized that Nature could still provide such decadent beauty, disdainful of the land shrouded in the murky threat of war.

They dismounted, or rather, the soldiers dismounted and Zhi was dragged unceremoniously from her horse. The horses were handed off to young stable boys and Zhi was prodded into the castle.

The interiors were gracefully unadorned in a simple beauty that exuded tranquility. So despite her intention to remain vigilant, Zhi found herself calmed by the understated magnificence of the place.

The veritable maze of hallways eventually led to a small but tastefully decorated audience chamber. A low table stained black was set with porcelain dinnerware. A screen in one corner depicted cranes in flight and Zhi saw that the plates and mugs depicted a similar motif of water bird and stylized trees.

The lieutenant suddenly slipped a knife through the rope that bound her hands behind her back. Pain bloomed through the length of her arms as she brought them before her and massaged circulation back into them. Zhi had no time to form any other thought because _**he**_ strode into the room from a different door.

She tensed as she watched him come into the room. He was of medium height and obviously a warrior for the casual and vigorous grace of his movements. He wore a neatly trimmed goatee that hugged his jaw and chin. It did not conceal the attractive shape of his face. The lines of middle-age only added character to a face that had very likely been almost pretty as a youth. For all his attractiveness Zhi could not stem the uneasiness that trickled into her mind, for even from across the room, his eyes radiated a cold, unwavering intelligence.

She abruptly found herself on a knee and winced as it cracked painfully on the chill marble floor. She turned and glared, for one of the soldiers had deftly planted stiff fingers into the back of her knee. An attempt to lunge at the offending man resulted in three points of steel ringing her throat. Teeth grinding, she turned back to face the newcomer striding with a warrior's grace towards them.

"You are to show proper respect when Lord Cao Cao enters," hissed the lieutenant. He and his soldiers dropped to a knee, knuckles of either hand pressing the floor on either side of their raised knees, pikes placed precisely along their right sides. They all bowed their heads.

"Now, now; there is no need for roughness. I am sure the Lady can be excused from formalities for the moment."

"Aye, my Lord," the lieutenant intoned. His voice was properly respectful, void of any emotion.

"You may go," Cao Cao said imperiously. "You have performed your duties well in keeping the lady unharmed, lieutenant."

The soldiers came to their feet and bowed, almost reverently. The lieutenant sliced through her bonds before they left silently, leaving Zhi alone with the General. She struggled to her feet, her right knee throbbing. She resisted the urge to tend to it and instead faced Cao Cao, struggling with fear and hate. Her heart pounded with the emotions. She absently rubbed her tingling wrists as life returned to them, wincing slightly.

"Please, seat yourself," Cao Cao urged politely, gesturing to the table. "We have much to discuss."

Zhi conjured up her courage.

"I have nothing to discuss with you," she said, noting with chagrin that her voice trembled a bit on her last word.

_So much for my pathetic attempt at dignity_, she thought.

Cao Cao's eyebrows rose slightly. Zhi braced herself as the neutrally pleasant voice steeled to match the cold hardness of his eyes.

"My, my," he murmured. His soft voice frightened her even more than a forceful tone would have.

"A little show of spirit. Usually a sign of courage, but in your case…" he paused to study her and Zhi became all too aware of her more than disheveled state.

"No, I think not." His voice became sharp. "Your intractability is more akin to that of an ignorant peasant, unused to dealing with his betters."

A fine trembling suffused her body, born of fear, rage, and humiliation. His words became more biting.

"I will tell you frankly then. That collar about your neck was created by my resident sorcerer. While wearing it, you will be rendered helpless, and as I am sure you are aware of by now, attempting to remove it or use your magic will result in most unpleasant circumstances. Its function is to prevent you from using your magic against us until you can be trusted."

Zhi began to form an idea as he spoke and was careful to keep her eyes neutral. Unfortunately, Cao Cao had obviously thought of her plan beforehand.

"If you successfully escape, it will slowly kill you within a predetermined amount of time."

With that devastating pronouncement, he seated himself at the table. Summoned through some means Zhi had failed to notice, servants began to enter the room, each carrying a platter of food or drink. She continued to stand before the General, stunned and unsure.

Cao Cao spoke, gesturing once again to the setting across the table from him. His voice and expression resumed their pleasant casts as he said,

"So, please, sit down. I will outline my offer to you."

And so, with no better objective to act upon, Zhi sat upon silk cushions across from him and listened as the General poured her tea.

"It is unfortunate," Cao Cao said a few moments later, after they had been served. Zhi fairly salivated and her jaw ached as she stared at the feast before her. Rice scented with jasmine, tender slices of meat and vegetables flavored with garlic, and citrus sauces were placed before her on the delicate porcelain.

Cao Cao sipped his tea and placed the mug before him, looking at her intently as he spoke.

"Zhang Jiao had the choice to wield your not so insignificant magic against the Allies. Yet he used you as a glorified sentry!" He laughed, an abrupt but sincerely amused sound. "With your trained magic at his disposal, he very well could have defeated us." Cao Cao shook his head. He seemed almost disappointed.

"Ignorant fool."

They ate in silence for a few moments. While Zhi was baffled by what exactly this conversation was leading to, the food was distracting. After a week of less than marching rations and an entire winter of hard bread and dried jerky, the culinary feast before her was overwhelming to her senses.

"However," Cao Cao continued abruptly, "I will not make the same mistake. I ask you to join me. Upon completion of basic military training, I will advance you immediately to the rank of Liutenant and place you within one of my elite guard units under either Dian Wei or Xu Zun. Sima Yi, my head sorcerer, will advance your training in the use of your magic and organize your intellectual studies.

"You will be treated well; paid and given quarters as befits a vital officer in my army, and offered opportunity for advancement should you prove your worth."

Zhi stopped wolfing her food and stared at him. The opportunity to serve as an officer in a powerful army such as his was rarely offered and a great honor. She was instantly suspicious. She swallowed a mouthful of food.

"Why do you offer me so much? I am a prisoner of war and fought against you."

Cao Cao smiled.

"I am willing to forgive much and offer a great deal for one with talents such as yours."

Zhi feigned ignorance. He couldn't know very much about her magic. But his sharp mind saw right through her act. His eyes narrowed for a moment in displeasure.

"Do not be coy with me, girl. My head sorcerer informs me that you are possessed of immense magical power could you but control your strength. I would not allow such a powerful weapon to fall into other hands with intentions… dissimilar to my own."

"What happens to me if I do not desire to be part of your army?"

A lazy smile curved his lips. His look was predatory and Zhi went cold to the marrow.

"As I just said, a powerful weapon cannot be allowed go free."

He scared her, as he had meant to, and Zhi could not hide her fear. Cao Cao's smile softened and he returned his attention to his food. She did the same, thinking furiously.

It seemed there was no way out of the situation. Zhi felt sickened, and a traitor to her brother as she considered the choices she had. Service in an army she had never had any intention of joining, or death granted by the mysterious necklace or Cao Cao's own executioner. It appeared as if the only way out of joining a Han army was through death.

However, Zhi was not one to take that path. As long as there was life, there was hope. She supposed that in time she could comprise plans to escape. But for the moment she could accept, throw herself into her duties, and gain the trust of the General and his officers. In the meantime, if she could learn to use her magic capably and gain some skills, so much the better. Bowing her head, Zhi whispered,

"Liang, forgive me."

Cao Cao looked up at her.

"What was that?"

"I accept your offer."

"Ah! Excellent. You will be much pleased with your decision." He snapped fingers briskly and Zhi watched a woman near her own age enter the room, head bowed demurely.

"Anli, please escort Lady Bai Zhi to the chambers prepared for her when she finishes her meal."

He stood and bowed his head to her.

"Please excuse me, Lady. Anli will attend to you. I will have a dispatch sent when you are to be summoned to join your training platoon. Expect it within the week. Sima Yi will visit with you early this evening to discuss the details of your assignments and your duties in the meantime."

He left Zhi sitting alone in the great castle to finish the delicious meal. The handmaid, Anli, waited patiently as she finished her meal, and then with a graceful bow, escorted her away from the Crane Room.

Anli led Zhi to a suite of rooms already exquisitely furnished. A small sitting chamber preceded a larger bedroom which led to a balcony overlooking one of the lavish courtyard gardens. From the railing, Zhi could see brightly colored fish darting about in a small pond below. An enormous wisteria grew radiant lavender blossoms on lush vines that trailed extravagantly into the water. Brightly colored songbirds splashed in various birdbaths scattered about. Zhi inhaled deeply of the subtle fragrance of the wisteria. She thought wryly that it would not be extremely difficult to like it here.

Then Anli ushered her into the large space within the bedroom where steaming buckets of water were being poured into a good sized washing tub by younger girls.

Zhi eyed the bath water with delight and grinned at Anli, who smiled back. Soft towels were laid on a stool within reach of the tub. A bright blue silk gown was laid across the bed, which was by far the biggest she had ever slept in. Anli left the room and Zhi was left alone to bathe.

She discarded her clothes, stiff with grime and ragged at knees and hems, with some disgust into a grubby pile and practically dove into the bath water.

Bliss.

Zhi sank into the tub of warm, almost hot, washing water and sighed in contentment. She scrubbed resolutely at her grimy body and ducked under the water to wet and lather her hair. Some time later, with a full stomach and the warm water lulling her, her body finally relaxed into lethargy.

She must have dozed for a moment, for a soft knock startled her.

"Lady Bai?"

"Uh, one minute!" she called, lunging out of the water and wrapping her hair and body with the soft toweling.

_I don't think I will ever become used to a handmaid_, she thought. _Will I ever have a private moment after this?_

"Please, Anli," Zhi said, as the hand maid entered the room, "I am no lady; you do not need to refer to me as such. Please, call me Zhi."

"Lord Cao Cao has insisted, my lady," Anli murmured, eyes downcast.

Zhi snorted with disgust.

"The General will not know what you call me in private," she said, and was rewarded with a small, mischievous smile. Zhi liked the way her eyes lit up impishly and smiled back at her, thinking,

_Maybe we will get along better than I originally thought._

"That is true, isn't it," Anli said thoughtfully. Her eyes became serious again.

"Lord Sima Yi is expecting to meet with you in his chambers."

"Now?" Zhi asked.

"At your earliest convenience," Anli replied.

"I suppose that does mean now," Zhi sighed. "What do I wear?"

In no time, Anli had her properly dressed and her hair pinned up tightly. Unused to it, Zhi poked and prodded at the pins holding her hair, trying to ease them into some semblance of comfort. Anli smirked at her and Zhi left off her tugging. She nodded in approval at the soft gown that hugged her body. The bright blue silk was embroidered with delicate flowers stitched with silver thread. Zhi had never owned anything so beautiful and could not help but feel unsuitable in it. It was ludicrous to see a farmer's daughter dressed as a fine lady. She had no doubt that Liang would have been rolling on the floor with laughter to see her in it.

"Shall we go then?" Anli asked quietly. Zhi started badly.

"Um, ye-, yes." Concentrating to banish the mental image of her laughing brother, she squeezed her eyes tightly shut to rid them of the telltale burning of tears. They would not help her.

Once more she was led through the maze of corridors and outside. By the light, it was already late afternoon. Zhi and Anli passed through a quiet circular courtyard whose walls were covered in some sort of climbing ivy. The stone pathway we walked upon ran along the walls. Within the circle of wall, greenery and stone, pristine white sand had been raked with meticulous care. No other ornamentation marred the austere simplicity of the courtyard.

They entered the castle once again on the other side of the courtyard, where Anli halted before the first door and knocked softly. A voice Zhi recalled from her fever delirium bade them enter. Anli bowed to her.

"I am not permitted to go into the magic user's quarters. He will send for me when you are finished," she whispered, squeezing Zhi's hand.

She stared after Anli's departing form in consternation, and then with a deep breath, entered the sorcerer's chambers.


	3. Beyond Time

Zhi could not make out the features of the man sitting at the enormous table that took up nearly half of the room. His head was bent over a scroll on which he made notations, working by the light of a single candle. She waited in the doorway, unsure and wary.

A moment passed, in which she began to think there had been some mistake, when he made a sound of satisfaction, raised his head to acknowledge her presence, and stood. Zhi flinched in spite of herself.

The man raised a hand, palm up, and suddenly numerous candles flamed to life all around the room. She gasped at such an effortless wielding of elemental power. He walked around the table and moved towards her.

As he came into the light, she astonished to see that Sima Yi was quite young, barely into his late twenties. From the manner in which Cao Cao spoke of him, she had expected a man somewhat older than the general. The sorcerer wore robes of deep blue - almost black - embellished at cuff and neck with simple scrollwork embroidery. His broad shoulders and vigorous way of moving did not quite correspond with his scholarly status. In fact, he moved very much like Cao Cao and Zhi did not doubt that he was also an accomplished warrior. His shrewd eyes, incongruous in his youthful, unlined face, burned with power and she knew instinctively that this man was much more powerful than Zhang Jiao and his brothers combined. This was a formidable man. She unconsciously took a step back from him as he neared her.

Sima Yi stopped when she moved and held his hand out beseechingly, like one would while approaching a timid animal. She noticed that his knuckles were scarred from handling a blade but his fingers were callused like a scribe's.

"Please, come and sit with me," he said, his voice mild and cultured; exactly as Zhi remembered while lying delirious in her cell.

"We have much to discuss."

Reflexively, she raised a hand to her throat, touching the woven necklace that clasped her neck and stared at the young sorcerer.

"I do not think I can quite trust you," she said, her voice small.

She saw guilt flash across his face briefly before the calm mask returned. It made her think better of him that he did not like what he had done, but she still could not fathom why he had _**collared**_ a fellow magic user.

"I do apologize for that, lady, but in appreciation of your not inconsiderable power, it was deemed necessary. In fact, you should consider it a compliment, a testament to your strength."

"Please, my lord," Zhi said, "I think we both know that my powers are unreliable at their best and thus I will never match your strength."

Even as she heard the words spill past her lips, she wished she could gather them back up. She knew that the only reason to keep her alive was the expectation that she would become a valuable magic user and officer in Cao Cao's army. Belittling her own strength, no matter how sincere her intention, would only get her killed. And yet she felt she could not help but to trust Sima Yi, despite her initial feelings of reservation.

Sima Yi, for his part, only laughed. Zhi was somewhat distressed at being laughed at, but she stood resolutely before him, determined not to allow her feelings to show.

"I do apologize," he wheezed, trying to curb his mirth, "But I am quite sure of your strength. I tested you myself."

He stopped laughing finally and looked at her with a sudden gravity.

"Your raw talent, once properly trained, will be immense… and quite able to match the greatest sorcerers in history. It will be my great honor to begin your formal training."

She gazed at him intently for a moment, and then licked suddenly dry lips.

"When will this training begin?" she asked with hesitant longing.

Sima Yi's shoulders visibly sagged in disappointment.

"Unfortunately not until Cao Cao allows it. He wants to be sure of your loyalty before I am permitted to release you to perform actual magic. However," he raised his voice slightly when Zhi looked away in frustration, "We can begin the mental preparations a magic user requires immediately."

"How I am to prove my loyalty?" she asked disconsolately. "It may take years before that man is properly convinced."

"I doubt it; he wants to use you in battle. Times are becoming quite unsettled; even as the Yellow Turbans are scattered," Sima Yi paused to look at her apologetically before continuing, "New sects of resistance are forming."

The sorcerer trailed off and looked deeply into her eyes. She felt her face flame at the sudden scrutiny, but met his gaze unwaveringly. For all his power and allegiance, she still had the feeling that he was a good man. It would be difficult to face off against him once she escaped.

Unfortunately, her trust in him had momentarily blinded her to his razor-sharp mind.

"I know you wish to escape," he said quietly.

She jumped suddenly and could no longer meet his gaze.

"I know this because were I in your situation, I would plan for escape at the first opportunity, while maintaining the outward appearance of fidelity." He bowed slightly. "Believe me, my lady, I do not wish to keep you here against your will; it not only increases the risk to us, but lessens your faith in our cause, a faith you will need if you are to help us fight our enemies. Although you may hate Cao Cao and those of us that support him, know that he is an infinitely talented leader capable of restoring order to the realm."

Zhi felt the burning of tears in her eyes as he spoke. She suddenly felt ashamed to be scheming against him, even though she had every right, as she was, essentially, a prisoner.

_I have done nothing but cry since I was taken_, she thought angrily.

"My lady," Sima Yi was continuing, "While I cannot release you and know you are kept against your will, it truly is my sincere desire to help you become a sorceress with full use of your power. Is the ability to wield your magic skillfully without pain enough to persuade you to… abandon these thoughts of escape and deceit?"

Zhi stared at him silently, tears falling freely down her face.

_Are not order and peace the ideals Zhang Jiao was trying to establish?_

"Yes," she whispered, "I will endeavor to truly give my loyalty to Wei."

Sima Yi's answering smile was heartfelt and she let herself smile back.

_I am sorry, Liang_, she thought. _But - peace – is that not the motivation that sent us running to become Children of Peace? Now Zhang Jiao is defeated. Maybe this path has been set before me to allow me to continue the battle we fought together._

Zhi was exhausted when Anli returned her to her room later that evening. After Anli had left for the night, Zhi wandered out onto the balcony and studied the waning moon. Sima Yi had been true to his word and had described and demonstrated various exercises to help her sharpen her mental abilities in preparation for complicated magical weaves – given, of course, that she would be released to use said magic. Ah… theory, a return to basics. Zhi sighed. There was no easier method to torture a person than by expecting him to master the theory behind magic. She yawned and then snorted. Yes, that was about how she felt about it. There was no better way to crush a student's spirits!

She had remained wary of him at first, but as she worked with him, she began to lose that guardedness. He was an extremely gifted teacher; articulate and concise in explanations, patient with her mistakes. She found herself eagerly anticipating working with him in the magic. A part of her wanted to run to Cao Cao himself at that very moment and swear undying loyalty so she could begin immediate work with the magic.

She smiled grimly to herself.

_How easily I am swayed to their side,_ she thought self-depreciatingly. _The merest offer of power has made me forget that these people support the corruption of the Han Dynasty!_

Zhi found herself buried in self-loathing. She knew she would give her loyalty and magic to Cao Cao and his army. She knew it without any doubts. But she still felt horribly guilty and weak-minded at the ease in which she had been persuaded. Cao Cao had known exactly what to offer her to gain her loyalty; a more adept teacher than she could have ever hoped for. Just one evening under Sima Yi's tutelage had almost convinced her that what he said was true – with his help, she could indeed become powerful.

Scrubbing her face hard with her hands, Zhi dropped all thought of guilt and loyalty. She inhaled deeply of the softly warm springtime air and entered her bedchamber, closing doors and then misty curtains. She eyed her bed - heaped with thick pillows and fresh sheets - appreciatively and fell upon it.

Mental and emotional exhaustion stole into her mind and she slept.

Three days passed quickly. Anli made sure that she could navigate through the castle easily on her own and introduced her to groundskeepers, cleaning staff, and – to Zhi's delight - kitchen staff. These simple people were very much like the folk she had grown up with and made her more at ease in Cao Cao's castle than either Cao Cao or even Sima Yi could have. The folk in the kitchen were especially welcoming, and made sure that Zhi ate well. In fact, she had never had access to so much food in her life and it was somewhat overwhelming. The head of the kitchen, a feisty old matron called Huang Sen, immediately exclaimed that Zhi was too skinny and promptly fed her.

Sima Yi continued working with her on meditations and began to teach her the fundamentals of chess, stating that it was the perfect preparation for instruction in battle strategizing. She was so busy with these things that she almost completely forgot about her actual military training.

Her orders arrived during her instruction with the sorcerer and she read the scroll with some trepidation. She looked at Sima Yi and her expression spoke volumes.

"There is no need to be frightened," he said to her as she felt her eyes widen.

"I can't help it," she said, trying to control the tremble of nervousness in her voice, "What –" She cleared her throat as her voice broke, then tried again.

"What exactly does this military training entail?"

Sima Yi was quiet a moment before answering.

"You will learn basic infantry skills, and some horse and archer skills. But hand-to-hand combat and weapon drills will take up most of your time. I will continue to give you instruction three times a week until your platoon enters their final weeks of training, when you will instead begin work as an aide to one of Cao Cao's lieutenants in order to be given advance training in tactics and warfare. At that point, our sessions will only take place once a week. You will be too busy to be nervous much past the first day. Actually, I think you will probably enjoy the experience and the knowledge you will gain will benefit you greatly once you enter battle."

Zhi was grateful for his calmness and assumed a measure of it herself. Her reservations against the people that had brought her to this point had greatly lessened and she was able to report for duty with a sense of pleasant anticipation.

_What ever made me believe this would be exciting!_ Zhi thought to herself as she doggedly jog-shuffled in the ragged formation of recruits. The day had begun easily enough; she and the men assigned to her training platoon had been issued their basic work uniforms and listened to a rather dull lecture on the expectations of soldiers. Then, the work had begun.

Zhi had never participated in such extreme physical training. Two hours of grueling calisthenics had preceded the seemingly endless run her platoon was currently engaging in. And apparently, the rest of the afternoon would be spent in hand to hand combat training.

Zhi had been surprised to find herself almost completely ignored by the other recruits. This came as a surprise to her; as a woman, she had expected some form of resentment from the male recruits. The drill instructors mostly seemed to discount her and paid no attention to her at all. She was rather grateful for this; falling under the attention of one of them landed the hapless recruit with even more physical punishment.

Somehow, she made it through the rest of the day. She had been assigned a small room in the barracks, apart from the men, and sank into her tiny cot gratefully. No sooner had her eyes closed than she was startled awake by the thunderous shouts of her drill instructor, who slammed the door to her tiny cell deafeningly shut before she could even stumble out of bed and get herself blearily out into the pre-dawn darkness.

Her first afternoon of working with the standard issue pike of the infantry had resulted in extremely painful wrist and forearm muscles; for almost a week afterward, she could barely hold the long weapon, much less work through the forms. As she gained strength and dexterity in her arms, forearms, and wrists, the pike became her favorite weapon by far and the more popular sword forms held absolutely no appeal for her. She was proud of the fact that her weapon skills were as accomplished as any of the other recruits.

The days seemed to drag and they all ran together in one mind numbing haze. The repetitiveness of the drills and exercises made them easy to retain and her muscles gradually became familiar with the movements so that she could perform them without thinking about it. As the weeks passed, she began to notice the newfound fitness of her body and delighted in it. She could run great distances now and could maintain the slow jog that the soldiers used to travel on foot for hours at a time; the air moved freely through her lungs, her sides no longer burned with exertion, and her muscles moved her body easily.

She felt too, the increased fitness of her mind. Her sessions with Sima Yi were fascinating as he worked her through various difficult mental exercises. He also began formally educating her in history and philosophy, as well as calligraphy and art. Some nights, they would have long conversations on simple things – their lives, their likes and dislikes. Zhi felt as if she had gained a new brother. He was very unlike Liang, who had never wasted his time in scholarly pursuits. But he radiated the same sense of male protectiveness that her brother had and she felt very safe with him. Sima Yi was a good man.

Nearly two months after she had begun training, however, the hand-to-hand combat sparring still held great difficulty for her. She was consistently defeated in each contest. It was a great area of frustration for her and she often practiced alone during the times that the other recruits were allowed liberty. She mercilessly drilled herself in the forms and battered the worn target they all used during actual training time. But it was all to no avail, for she could not defeat any of the men unless she was allowed a weapon.

She spoke to Sima Yi about it one evening. She had just been soundly defeated once again and was seething with anger and humiliation. The sorcerer had picked up on her emotions and as she lost her second chess game in less than twenty moves had said mildly,

"Your mind is not on this."

Zhi, too upset to form any sort of reply, only grumbled. Sima Yi smiled and stood, stretching his arms over his head. Then he looked down at her and offered his hand to help her rise from the low table.

"What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," he replied, a wide smile curving his lips. Sighing, Zhi took his hand and stood.

"Please, Sima Yi, I am not in the mood for more mental diversions. It's not as if I will ever make any use of this training; he's never going to release me, is he?"

His smiled faded.

"Bai Zhi, why are you so angry with yourself?"

"I'm not angry at myself," she responded grumpily. "I'm just… It's nothing, okay!" She glared at him and he exhaled noisily.

"I cannot read your mind. So until you tell me what exactly it is that interferes with our work here, I cannot help you."

"I don't have a problem."

"Stubborn is one thing, pure mule-headedness is quite another. This… senseless rage you exhibit does not become you. So, I ask again. Is this something I can help you with?"

The rebuke, mild as it was, stung. Zhi felt heat rise in her face and scald her cheeks. With a wail, she covered her face with her hands and cried,

"I am worthless!" She practically howled out the last word, full of fury and sorrow with no place to channel it. Slowly, she sank to her knees, not quite crying, but so full of emotion that it threatened to boil her blood. She felt Sima Yi drop to his knees in front of her a moment before he gathered her into his arms. That simple offering of comfort was enough to allow her tears to finally burst forth. He held her and let her cry – painful, gasping sobs that she could not hold back.

She didn't know how long she cried, but she realized after a while that her tears began to slow, and eventually stop. She remained quietly against him, arms around him, her ear to his chest, and the steady beat of his heart calming her. He spoke, his voice surprisingly deep through his chest.

"You are not worthless."

She didn't want to talk, she wanted to crawl into her cot at the barracks and hide for the rest of her life.

"I miss my brother," she whispered, startling herself. She had not meant to say it. She buried her face in the hollow of his shoulder, embarrassed, and then sat back from him, scrubbing a hand across burning eyes. He was staring at her, a pained expression on his face. He reached out and cupped her face in his hands.

"Oh my dear, we have not done well by you, have we?" He lightly kissed her forehead. "I am sorry, Bai Zhi. We have been heartless with you."

She could not think of a reply; her mind was too numb. But she tried,

"We both knew that it was likely one of us would die in battle. I just didn't expect it so soon and I honestly never expected to survive him. He was so talented and brave. I couldn't even maintain regular control of my magic; much less wield a sword with any sort of aptitude. I have tried to make him proud, have tried to excel in the things that came to him so easily, but I don't think I am."

"Why would you think that?"

Zhi tipped her head forward and opened her eyes.

"I cannot keep up with them."

"Who? The other recruits?"

"Yes; they are all stronger than me; I cannot defeat them in hand-to-hand combat. It's so frustrating and all I can think is that Liang could have done this and excelled. I don't know what to do."

"You have only just begun to seriously use your body for combat. Young boys begin this process at a very young age; most girls – and I am assuming you were one of these – do not. You cannot expect to learn a decade or more worth of training in a single month. Give yourself time. Practice your forms, even when they become tedious; these will further hone your body and allow it react without thinking. This will allow you to become more efficient in combat as you will not be wasting time in thought."

"I know this," Zhi said, exasperated. "I do not think I can practice any more than I already have. There is only a certain amount of time in every day!"

"Then you must think about this in a different perspective. You cannot be your brother. You are a woman, Zhi. Your body is not made the same as a man's."

"I think I know that," she retorted, feeling her face redden again. Sima Yi chuckled.

"What I mean is, overall, men are always going to be bigger and stronger than you. It's something you will never be able to overcome. If you, as a woman, fight like a man, you will always lose. But-" he lifted a finger as she started to object.

"But, if you, as a woman, fight like a woman, you can prevail."

Zhi frowned.

"So I should just go straight for the groin?" She was astonished. She had not planned on cheating.

"Of course not!" Sima Yi laughed. "Although that is an interesting way to look at it and in battle I expect you to cheat. Still, you have low expectations of yourself if that is what you think.

"You should utilize speed, timing, and strategy as opposed to brute strength. A well thought out line of attack is what wins the battle, not the massive show of force. You saw that earlier this spring at Xia Pi."

"So that's it? Just smarter and faster?" Zhi asked with a slight edge of skepticism.

Sima Yi stood and beckoned to her. She rose to her feet and stood before him.

"No, that is not it." He reached out to her, one hand spanning her throat.

Zhi gasped as the necklace around her throat burned hot as fire, and then dropped to the floor. She watched it, the hated collar, as it blackened and finally dissolved into ashes. She slowly raised her head to meet Sima Yi's gaze. His chin was raised; he stared down at her imperiously, daring her. Zhi inhaled deeply to gather power.

Then she stopped.

Sima Yi let out a breath, then grinned.

"Not just smarter and faster, eh?" he asked, eyes glinting with mischief.


	4. Leaden Legacy

Musical Inspiration: 'Leaden Legacy' by After Forever

"Now," Sima Yi said, as he led a fairly ecstatic Zhi out into the circular courtyard. "I want you to call a small blaze of Fire as you normally would. Maybe we can figure out why the actual use of your power makes you so sick."

She beamed at him as he moved away to stand near the entrance. Leaning against the vine-covered wall, he propped a foot up against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. Zhi inhaled deeply, allowing the part of her that could sense the elements to reach out.

It was like recovering an amputated limb; Zhi had not known this sense was so much a part of the way she viewed the world until it had been taken from her. She forgot about Sima Yi's suggestion of a simple conjuring and reached out for Fire. She raised her arms in a V over her head, vaguely hearing – and dismissing - his shouts of alarm. Too preoccupied with the heady rush of power that surged through her, Zhi conjured a towering blaze of fire that roared into the air around and above her, drowning out the rest of the world with intense light and heat.

The sheer force of the blaze created powerful gusts of hot air that whipped her hair about her. Zhi howled in triumph – the primal strength of the wild element buoyed her up, making her feel invincible. And then, inevitably, as fast as it had come to her call, Fire drained from her and the flames snuffed out with a low 'pop' accompanied by a slight shuddering of the earth beneath her feet. Cursing violently, Zhi was forced to release the tendrils of the element – or be consumed by the raw power of Nature Herself.

Silence followed, almost loud in its intensity. She fell to her knees, catching herself on her hands to prevent herself from falling flat on her face. But with a hiss of pain, she jerked herself back to her feet, staring in horror at the blood that was pouring from the sliced skin of the palms of her hands and her knees. Confounded, she looked down at the white sand upon which she stood.

The pristine white sand of the courtyard has been transformed. She stood near the center of a perfect circle of glass. Sheer translucency was marred only by the shattered imprints of her body and delicate swirls of bright blood. Slowly, she raised her head, feeling the heat of a fever roar through her body. She met Sima Yi's horrified eyes.

"Help me," she said faintly.

Her knees wobbled and she held up her bloodied hands beseechingly as he began to move quickly toward her, his feet shattering the thin layer of glass with sharp cracks. He had barely reached her when a rumbling voice broke the quiet,

"What happened?!" Zhi heard the man begin making his way toward them and shuddered suddenly, hunching her shoulders and ducking her head slightly. She had heard that voice before. She leaned against Sima Yi; her strength gone.

"Do not say a word," he whispered into her ear. Shouts began to rise in the distance.

The other man reached them and she could not resist. She managed to stand on her own and turned around to come face to face, or rather, face to chest, with the renowned warrior Dian Wei. She raised her head slowly to meet the forbidding frown he had turned down upon her. It was the first time she had seen him while fully lucid and she could not believe she had not been more frightened of him before. Probably the tallest man she had ever seen and massively muscled, he was wearing similar clothing to what he had had on during the battle at Xia Pi, sans shield. He did not carry his axe either, but wore a pair of wrist sheathes and was absently sliding a long dagger into the left one as she watched. The wickedly lethal hilts of a pair of head hook swords peeked over his broad shoulders.

He was still shaven-headed, making his appearance fierce and almost barbaric. Zhi would have never mistaken him for a monk. Dark, intense eyes regarded her neutrally and a grim mouth did little to soften the angular planes of his face. The harsh lines of his face would never allow him to be handsome, but Zhi found herself disturbingly drawn to him anyway – like a small child fascinated with fire. He scowled fiercely at her before turning that turbulent gaze to Sima Yi. Zhi slumped slightly. He radiated massive strength, not only through sheer size, but by his very presence. Even had she not been exhausted and sick from casting she would have been overwhelmed to be so near him.

"Lord Cao Cao has not yet given you permission to release her, sorcerer," he growled, his voice low and menacing. Zhi began to shiver. Sweat slid down her ribs and spine but she was suddenly freezing. She idly watched blood drip steadily from the tips of her fingers to splash in minute scarlet drops upon the shining glass. Sima Yi placed a steady hand against her back.

"I am aware of Cao Cao's orders, Dian Wei," Sima Yi answered curtly.

The two men glared at each other, filling the still air with nearly palpable tension. The hostility was shattered by the arrival of duty sentries, who had halted at both of the two entrances to the courtyard to stare in amazement. Then the men to the far entrance scattered like leaves in the wind before three imposing figures.

Zhi recognized Cao Cao immediately and forced her mind to focus. Her eyes darted to the two unfamiliar men with him; men alike enough to him in both visage and bearing as to be his sons. Cao Cao surveyed the scene before him briefly, and then snapped his fingers at the remaining sentries.

"You are not needed here. Return to your posts." Turning his attention to them, he advanced across the circle, ignoring the razor sharp shards that threatened his feet as he strode over them. The other two men – his sons? - made their way a bit more carefully before stopping to flank Cao Cao as he stood before them.

"Sima Yi!" he barked, "Why has this woman been released?"

"I deemed it was time to begin her training."

"Without my knowledge? How would you have explained it to me when she escaped?"

"She was not going to try to escape," Sima Yi said briskly.

"How can you be sure of that?" Cao Cao demanded.

"I –"

"Why don't you ask me?" Zhi interrupted, swearing inwardly as her words slurred slightly. She was a little taken aback when the four men before her turned their attention to her, but plowed on stubbornly. She staggered forward a step and bowed slightly to Cao Cao, struggling mightily to hold back giggles of hysteria.

"I wish to swear my allegiance to your cause, my Lord," she said carefully. "And I give you my oath that I will not betray you."

Cao Cao stared at her, eyes narrowed slightly as she struggled to focus on his face through suddenly hazy vision.

"What's amiss with her?" he asked Sima Yi, his eyes still on her face.

"We have just worked out the reason that has caused her to have such difficulty with her magic." Cao Cao turned his gaze to Sima Yi and raised an eyebrow.

"Have you? It appears that she is still rendered… incapacitated. I assume that it was _her_ tower of flame that did this?" He swept an arm out in an arc to encompass the courtyard.

"Yes, that was her. And the reason she has a problem is…" Sima Yi did not have a chance to finish his statement, for Zhi was suddenly sick. Dian Wei stepped back rather hastily from where she had fallen to her knees at his feet. He gazed down at her, his face perfectly expressionless, and said in a dry tone,

"She does like to do that when I am around."

The big warrior then slid the one of the daggers back out from its forearm sheath and looked at Sima Yi.

"Are you going to allow her to bleed to death or shall I just finish her now?"

"Damn girl!" Sima Yi's response was vehement. Zhi giggled, a touch of madness in her laughter, at Dian Wei's dark humor (was it humor?). Sima Yi ignored them both as he bowed to Cao Cao.

"My lord, I beg your leave to continue this discussion after the lady is properly taken care of"

Cao Cao gave a curt nod and gestured to the other two with him, both of whom had wandered aside to poke at the ground in astonishment. The three left.

Dian Wei resheathed his dagger for a second time and crouched to gently take one of Zhi's hands in his own, turning it palm up to inspect the painful slashes. Then he looked into her eyes and said quietly, a trace of amusement softening his gravelly tone,

"Do you promise not to be sick on me again?"

Zhi could only look at him blearily and shake her head no. He grunted, a sort of resigned sound, then swung her into his arms and stood effortlessly.

"Take her to the infirmary," said Sima Yi, before striding off after Cao Cao.

Zhi tried to call after him - she was terrified of the big warrior – but he had either not heard her or was ignoring her. Dian Wei merely turned and headed out of the opposite doorway.

"I have told you before, Bai Zhi," he said in a low voice, "You should not fear me."

Zhi awoke near dusk in the room that had originally been given to her. The weakening rays of the sun lit the room feebly. She was surprised to note that her fever had abated. She inspected her hands and gasped softly in amazement. The deep cuts had nearly healed; they appeared to be days old.

She closed her eyes and began drifting back to sleep when she heard someone enter the room. Her eyes snapped open and she sat up abruptly when she recognized one of the men who had accompanied Cao Cao when she had last seen him. He made calming motions with his hands and sat on a small stool near her bed.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"I feel fine," she replied. "How long has it been since…" she trailed off, bracing for the answer. These long periods of unconsciousness unnerved her.

"Just a night and today."

Relief. She had wanted to sleep like this since she had begun training anyway, especially in comfort – not that glaringly uncomfortable cot in the barracks. But what about…

"My hands are nearly healed," she said softly in wonder.

"Ah, yes. Sima Yi took care of that. Apparently you were quite a mess; the cuts were very deep."

"How -?"

"All magic users have some capacity to perform healing. You did not know this? Tch, of course not," he answered himself, "You would not have asked had you known."

Zhi was astonished. She held her hands up before her face and studied them in avid interest. Then she looked back up at the man.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"I am Cao Ang, Cao Cao's oldest son." He bent his neck in place of a bow.

Zhi stared. Cao Cao's son. She disliked Cao Cao acutely, but this man seemed almost… pleasant. He was quite good looking; he had an honest, open face with rugged lines of chin and jaw and beautiful eyes the color of dark honey. And while she could she see in his features a marked resemblance to his father, he possessed none of Cao Cao's indifferent coldness. He appeared to be twenty four or twenty five in age; not much older than Zhi herself, closer to Liang in age, perhaps. The silence stretched out between them and Cao Ang filled it.

"I was sent to request your presence should you be awake. Are you well enough to attend to the general?"

"I, well, I.. I suppose," she said, taken aback. She had expected an order, not a request.

"Then I will send your hand maid back in. When you are ready, I will escort you." He stood smoothly and left the bed chamber, to be replaced immediately by Anli. She rushed to Zhi's bedside as she swung her legs over the edge and placed her feet on the floor.

"I was so worried," Anli fussed, her dainty hands fluttering like nervous birds, "Lord Sima Yi and the Captain returned you here with no instructions or explanations except not to rouse you. Are you okay?"

"I feel… fine," Zhi replied, somewhat surprised to be aware that this was actually the truth. She did not feel as if she had just recovered from one of her magically induced illnesses; rather, she felt as if she had just woken from a restful, undisturbed slumber.

As Anli bustled about, trying to find suitable clothing, Zhi noticed that her knees and legs were also nearly healed. She marveled at this skill that Sima Yi possessed and wondered if she could learn.

Zhi finally decided that the simple trousers and tunic she used for training would suffice.

"Let me at least put your hair up, my lady," Anli pressed, apparently horrified that Zhi wanted to leave dressed like a man.

"I don't have anything else to wear," she said waspishly. "If Cao Cao wants me to dress nicely, he'll provide me with something other that what I have." She twisted her hair into a messy bun. "And stop calling me lady!"

She left Anli behind, giggling into her hand. Cao Ang led her into a section of the castle in which she had not yet been. Before long they entered a large chamber where Cao Cao was meeting with five other men. All six of them only covered a third of the long table they sat at. Zhi recognized Dian Wei, Sima Yi and one of the other men, but the remaining three were unknown to her.

"Lord Dong Zhuo has been dispatched by General He Fei to the capital city of Luo Yang, to safeguard the emperor." Cao Cao was saying. "It is the General's intention that Dong Zhuo will advise the young emperor and give him the military support he requires to police the provinces. The hope is to put an end to the constant conflict."

It was then that Cao Cao noticed them, and gestured for them to sit. Zhi sat silently between Sima Yi and the familiarly faced man that introduced himself as Cao Pi, Cao Ang's younger brother.

Cao Pi, while resembling both Cao Cao and Cao Ang, managed to be almost pretty. Almost. Something subtle prevented his face from being feminine; a rough angle to the jaw, the nose a touch too large, Zhi could not tell. He was devastatingly good-looking and had he also had Cao Ang's beautiful eyes, he would have been well nigh irresistible. She resolutely ignored the quickening of her pulse when he smiled warmly at her, a sincere expression that brightened his eyes. Zhi tore her gaze from him and wondered how the unsociable Cao Cao had managed to produce such charismatic sons. She secretly decided to ask about the mother.

Sima Yi introduced Xiahou Dun and Xiahou Yuan, brothers appearing to be nearly the same age, who were the Field Commanders that had operated directly under Cao Cao at Xia Pi. They looked almost identical – Xiahou Dun may have been a touch taller than his brother, but they shared the same sharp, strong features and glittering, intelligent eyes. To Zhi's eyes they resembled nothing so much as a pair of wolves – barely tame and likely to turn upon their master at any given moment. They bowed their heads gravely to her and had the same regal bearing as Cao Cao, while appearing to lack his aloofness. They eyed her with interest, speculation creasing their faces.

Dian Wei and Xu Zun were introduced as Lieutenants of Cao Cao's two personal guard and special tactics units. Xu Zun was large man, the lines of his body softened by fat, but he had a cheerful face and smiled jovially at her.

Cao Cao had been speaking quietly with Dian Wei as Sima Yi made introductions but turned his attention to the rest of them as he finished. Dian Wei began to idly clean his fingernails with a small throwing knife, in all appearances ignoring the rest of them.

"Bai Zhi," said Cao Cao, "Sima Yi has placed great trust in you; I hope that I do not find that trust misplaced. I will have him explain the details of your situation."

Sima Yi was quiet for a moment, looking down at a black cylindrical scroll case held in his hands as he thought. Then he looked directly at her when he spoke.

"Bai Zhi, you are not a sorceress."

Zhi raised her eyebrows.

"Excuse me?"

Sima Yi actually fidgeted, uncomfortable. Cao Cao and the others leaned imperceptibly closer, eyes alight with interest. Dian Wei had secreted his knife somewhere upon his body and crossed arms over his massive chest while watching her with impassive eyes. Sima Yi cleared his throat and continued.

"You are not a sorceress - not in the traditional sense of what is considered a magic user, anyway." He paused again. Zhi wanted to scream at him.

"I have had to delve deep in my studies to find out why you are different."

"Different how?" she asked impatiently.

"You are what was once known as a battle mage. From what I have read, these mages were extremely powerful with elemental magic, but had absolutely no skill in the other branches of magic; Healing, Seeing, or Telepathy. As rare as sorcerers are becoming, mages have not been alive for centuries. I have suspected this since we first gained reports on your presence within the Yellow Turban army. It is how I was able to create your, ah… necklace. The fashioning of such an item is described in an ancient scroll I possess. I confirmed your status when I viewed your singular technique of casting."

Zhi was stunned. She did not know what to reply to. His words sounded totally unreal - mages and healing and... telepathy? Dazed, she latched on to something she figured she had a chance to understand.

"Casting technique?"

"Ah, yes. Quite fascinating really. You see, a traditional magic user handles elemental energy by manipulating it out in the environment. We use tools, a staff or a fan, to direct these energy flows to do what we want them to. You, however, channel the energy directly into your body. Your body is the tool you use to direct the flows. It is why you can handle such vast quantities of power, but it also why you become incapacitated; your body tries to reject the energy, but cannot."

"So using magic is always going to make me sick?"

"No, there are exercises you can do to train your body to accept the energies. But you will have to venture into this alone; if I tried to use the elements the way you are able to, I would be burned to a crisp. I have gained this knowledge only through the study of this scroll." He held up the black scroll case. "I will turn it over to you. I will try to help you if I can, but…"

"Your military training will be taking a different path," Cao Cao said as Sima Yi fell silent. "Sima Yi has informed me that these mages were exceptional fighters. Your role as an officer in this army will have to have a different connotation. You will be taking a more active role in battle. I have chosen Cao Ang to give you advanced instruction in weapons and tactics, beginning tomorrow."

"Am I not to return to my training unit?"

"No. It is my wish that you concentrate on honing this talent of yours. You can attain anything that is required for you to know from any of the officers here."

Silence descended over the room. Zhi chewed on her lower lip, her mind racing. Sima Yi placed the scroll case on the table and slid it across the surface to her.

"The wording is archaic, but should not present too much of a challenge for you. Let me know if you encounter any difficulties."

Zhi stared at the scroll case hungrily for a moment before reaching out to take it. She suddenly could not wait to read it and barely noticed Cao Cao's dismissal of the rest of his officers. Sima Yi remained sitting with the General.

Zhi stood and bowed absently to them before turning to leave. She began to pry the top of the scroll case open as she exited the room.

She suddenly ceased her covetous fiddling with the scroll case when she nearly walked into Dian Wei, who had to stop suddenly to keep from bowling her over. She mumbled an embarrassed apology, then felt her face flame when a corner of his mouth quirked up. Hastily jamming the cylinder into her belt and avoiding his amused gaze, she began walking toward her room.

Unfortunately they both initially headed in the same direction. Zhi's heart began to pound as she moved alongside the hulking warrior. Although she felt she had regained her sense of confidence with the return of her magic, this man still alarmed her for no apparent reason. He had never been anything but polite to her, treating her gently, even when her status had been that of prisoner. But she could not relax around him. His very presence lent a charged energy to the air around her.

He bowed his head silently to her as they parted at the first intersection. Only when she reached her room and closed the door behind her did her heart begin to beat normally again.

"Come on, you move like an ox! Faster!"

Zhi growled in frustration and redoubled her efforts. For all his apparent charm, Cao Ang was a devil in the sparring yard. He had drilled her mercilessly all morning with the pike. Only when her arms felt like rubber and her breath was heavy in her chest did he announce his satisfaction with her technique. Then he began anew, instructing her in the basic forms of a new weapon – the double headed spear. She found this new weapon particularly effective. Although she lost some actions of the pike due to the presence of the extra foot of steel at the butt end of the staff, she found there was an ample range of varied movements to use with this new spear. All in all, she found it to be a more diverse weapon than the pike. Cao Ang had chosen well for her.

But the man was a harsh instructor. He was relentless in his drills, never allowing her to catch her breath between engagements, but plowing on relentlessly into the next movement. She was enraged by the way he found and manipulated her weaknesses; casually knocking the weapon from her hands if her grip was not firm or landing her on her rear if her stance was not stable. She had thought of herself as battle-ready. But Cao Ang showed her that she was evidently not.

The only positive aspect of the humiliations was that she was learning rather more quickly than she had with the regular training unit. Cao Ang was imminently talented in instruction.

Finally, after a painfully indeterminable amount of time had passed, he allowed her a respite. Setting his quarterstaff across his shoulders and twining his arms over it, he gazed at her inquiringly as she leaned upon her spear to regain her breath.

"Not bad," he said, a grin suddenly blooming across his face. "For a warm-up."

At Zhi's outraged look, he laughed heartily.

"I'm just kidding!" he chortled as he straightened up and twirled the staff back into his hands. "We're done for the day. You did well." He swatted her amiably on a shoulder as he passed her.

Zhi glared uselessly at his departing back as he returned his staff to a weapons-rack. Straightening up, she inhaled deeply one last time and felt her breathing finally return to normal. Sweat continued to pour down her back and ribs as she staggered over to return her weapon to its rack. Her muscles felt heavy and ungainly as she began some cool-down stretching. Giving that up as hopeless in a short time, she returned instead to her room, where she dropped into her bed and slept.

She awoke hours later. Scrunching up her nose in disgust at the sodden state of her clothing, Zhi made her way to the women's bath chambers and proceeded to pour buckets full of blessedly clean water over her head before luxuriating in the steam room. After she had dried off and changed into fresh clothing, she returned to her room to stare at the scroll case she had left on her clothing chest the night before.

She had been eager the night before to delve into its secrets but now, in the light of day, the innocent scrap of paper somehow seemed sinister to her. She took a deep breath and then pried the lid off. She unfurled the scroll - nearly as long as she was tall and covered in small, cramped script – and laid it flat on the floor next to her bed. Lying on her stomach before it, she began to read.


	5. Into the Shadows

Musical Inspiration: 'In the shadows' by The Rasmus

Sima Yi had not exaggerated; the wording and characters in the scroll were archaic and almost impossible to decipher as they were written. That, paired with the cramped writing, made comprehension of the material difficult – if not impossible. Exasperated, Zhi had finally gone to obtain paper and ink to make notes on what she read.

She was able to figure that the scroll had been written about five hundred years previously by the names of Emperors and prominent Generals that were mentioned. According to the sorcerer who had written it, the mages had been small in number even at that time, but they had made up for their lack of numbers through the sheer power of their magic.

Two main sects of the warrior-mages had formed and from then on had feuded ferociously, not caring who wandered into their bloody battles. Countless innocents had been slain in their war with each other, but neither group had seemed to care about that.

Finally, an alliance formed. The huge coalition was composed of sorcerers and various armies led by leaders that had been warring with each other for centuries. The significance of these mortal enemies allying with each other - in spite of their numerous personal feuds - to destroy the mages was not lost on Zhi. This Alliance eventually infiltrated and destroyed the mages they had dubbed Storm Warriors, for the turbulent weather they called onto the battlefield and used as weapons.

The Storm Warriors were wiped out in an epic battle, with the exception of a single woman – the lover of the sorcerer who had authored the scroll. She had taken a grievous wound in the final battle and had passed on the secrets of her people to her lover. As both a warrior and a scholar, she could not bear to let the knowledge of her craft die with her.

It was at that point that Zhi found the secrets to controlling her magic. Basic spell craft was outlined for each of the elements, including the Lesser elements, and her mind reeled at the simple brilliance of some of them. Starving for the knowledge, she excitedly scribbled page upon page of notes – and still would have to go back and concentrate on more difficult spells later on. The scroll ended with hints of further information concealed in a secret place known only to the mages.

Dark had descended while Zhi read and made notes on the scroll. When she finished the instruction section of the scroll, she stopped to stretch cramped fingers and look around her room in surprise. It had gotten so late that someone, probably Anli, had come in and lit candles. She had even left a tray of food. Zhi had not even noticed her hand maid's presence and was a little shocked that so much time had passed as well. She poured herself a cup of water and resettled herself to finish the scroll; barely a half a foot of it remained.

The final section made her blood run cold.

The author began to go into more detail as to why the mages had been considered so dangerous. They were described as extremely violent and irrational at times. Those traits, combined with their powerful magic made them extremely dangerous. Many of them also possessed the battle fury or blood lust, and went berserk in combat.

_Why?_ Zhi thought.

She chewed absently on her lower lip as she reread her notes. It appeared that the repeated channeling of the magic through their bodies was what triggered their aggressiveness – and their passage into madness.

Zhi did not notice her notes fall from her slack fingers, to drift to the floor and scatter silently. She could not be like them. No, she _would_ not be like them. She was a better person than that. Besides, this scroll had been dictated by a dying woman to her distraught lover; perhaps the portrayal of the mages was skewed and biased.

But somehow, Zhi knew this was not the case.

In abrupt horror, she stood so suddenly that her vision blacked momentarily and she swayed slightly. She had to escape. Staying would only bring about the descent of her mind into insanity for she would be expected to use her magic in battle.

She thrust the scroll, her notes, and other various essential items into a small saddlebag. Slinging it over her shoulder, she ventured out into the hallway, peering cautiously around the doorway to see if anyone was about. The dim halls were empty and silent.

Avoiding the main corridors, she ghosted through the castle and made it to the outer courtyard without being seen by a soul. From there, it was simplicity itself to slip into the deepening night.

She stood in the strengthening light of dawn, eyes closed, face tilted to catch the feeble rays of light. Her breathing had slowed to almost nonexistence and with each exhalation she drew upon each Element in turn – air, fire, water, earth – and released it upon inhalation, luxuriating in the sensation of the raw energies bathing her body.

Her mind was deep into her meditation; deep enough that when she was attacked from behind, Zhi barely had a chance to snag a thread of Lightning from the air and send it to strike her attacker.

With a furious curse, her assailant thrust her away from him violently – Zhi actually caught air from his reflective shove. Unfortunately not before the jolt of lightning passed from his body to hers and knocked her forcefully to the ground. Her muscles contracting involuntarily, Zhi lay on her back, half-stunned.

The whole incident happened in a split second. And with her senses jangling from the current of energy, Zhi was unable to fend off her second attacker. She struggled to regain control of herself as he threw himself across her body to restrain her. She went limp with relief when she recognized him.

"Cao Ang!"

He sat up from her.

"We're not going to hurt you," he said quietly, moving away and leaning back on his haunches.

A few feet away, his partner was still on the ground, swearing vehemently. It was not difficult to identify him.

"Dian Wei," she whispered. The big warrior managed to control his erratically jerking limbs enough to glare at her.

"Pity you couldn't have figured that out a second ago," he growled, scowling fiercely.

"Maybe you shouldn't have attacked me from behind," she snapped back, not thinking about whom she was addressing. She didn't realize that they had been glaring at each other until he began to laugh quietly. The sound coming from the fierce man was disconcerting. Zhi stared at him in confusion for a second before she realized what he was laughing at. Then she joined him. They had been glaring at each other, but their bodies had still been jerking occasionally, making it impossible to retain any sort of dignity or the sentiment required to maintain the angry stare.

When he stopped laughing, he kept the grin on his face and managed to stand up. When he offered Zhi a hand to help her up, she stared up at him in disbelief. The smile changed his entire appearance. Gone was the overbearing, forbidding presence – this man could almost be likable. After a moment, she took his hand and stood; nearly pulling both of them back down in the process as a larger muscle group gave an involuntary spasm.

Still resting on his haunches, Cao Ang stared at them with narrowed eyes.

"You are both insane," he said.

"A bolt of lightning will do that to you," Dian Wei said wryly.

But Ang's statement had sobered Zhi immediately.

"You may not be far off from the truth," she murmured.

As Cao Ang rose to his feet, he said,

"What do you mean?"

Zhi sighed. Then, with an immense effort, she finally managed to still her Lightning-induced tremors. Ignoring the fine trembling of her fingers, she straightened her shoulders.

"I am sorry I attacked you," she said to Dian Wei. "I wouldn't have done it if I had known who you were." He inclined his head minutely, accepting. Zhi turned her attention to Cao Ang. "But I cannot go back."

"It is okay, Zhi," Cao Ang replied. "You're not going to be punished. My father is only worried for your welfare."

Zhi snorted indelicately.

"I am sure that's **exactly** what he is worried about," she said sardonically. She let her voice show her disgust as she continued. "Lord Cao Cao is only interested in the return of his weapon."

Cao Ang did not reply, but Dian Wei said,

"Come back with us, Bai Zhi. You have nothing to fear."

"I cannot," she whispered, lowering her head.

Dian Wei stalked over to stand before her and seized her chin roughly, forcing her to raise her head and meet his eyes. She pulled her chin from his grasp and glared up at him. He did not return the angry look; his face had assumed an expressionless mask.

"Why did you suddenly run?" he asked. "You swore an oath that you would stay and serve."

"I did," she replied. "But that was before I learned what my fate would be if I had stayed to serve."

"Your fate?" The big man tilted his head slightly to one side, puzzled. Cao Ang came to stand beside him and they both considered her quizzically.

Zhi explained to them the contents of the scroll, and then waited for them to recoil from her in horror.

They did not. In fact, to her chagrin, they both looked slightly amused.

"Didn't you hear what I said?" she asked, becoming somewhat flustered when a grin appeared on Cao Ang's face.

"When I begin to cast magic correctly, I am going to go insane and kill everybody."

_Maybe it does sound a little silly when I put it that way,_ she thought, hunching her shoulders slightly.

"I doubt it," Cao Ang said, a smile still lighting his golden-hued eyes.

Feeling ridiculous now, Zhi muttered,

"What would you know about it anyway?"

"Well, as you so succinctly stated earlier, my father is overly concerned with the state of his new… weapon. And you forget that Sima Yi has read this scroll – so has my father for that matter – and in their opinions, you will be able to control your, ah, violent tendencies when the time comes."

"How can they know that for sure? I can count the number of times I have spoken with Cao Cao on one hand and even Sima Yi has only been my tutor since spring."

The amusement on Cao Ang's face faded.

"Sima Yi thinks highly of your character and morals. And you will have the best of instructors when it comes to controlling yourself. Both Dian Wei," he paused to nod respectfully to the hulking bodyguard, "and Xu Zhu are berserkers. They can help you."

Zhi slowly faced Dian Wei.

"Are you a mage?" she wondered.

He made a sound that could have been laughter.

"It would have made life… ah... interesting," he said, "But no, I have no magical abilities. I do know how to combat the blood lust of the battle fury, though. Xu Zhu and I will assist you should the need arise."

Zhi stared at him.

"You promise to help me?"

"I swear it," he said solemnly.

Zhi nodded to herself, but did not know who her next statement was intended for.

"I do not want to become evil," she whispered. Dian Wei laughed humorlessly.

"It's all relative," he said softly.

It was not until they were some way down the road that she realized her irrational fear of Dian Wei had not manifested. She shifted uncomfortably in her saddle and concentrated intensely on Cao Ang's conversations, attempting to ignore the other man that watched her with dark, guarded eyes.

A few days passed uneventfully. Once she returned, it was as if she had never left; no one mentioned her flight and it seemed that her cowardice would be forgotten. She was a bit embarrassed for what now seemed like an irrational overreaction and grateful that it had passed by relatively unnoticed. She was even more grateful for Cao Ang's grueling lessons and the respite they gave her from thinking too deeply about her new revelations.

It was in the oppressive heat of the afternoons – when the sparring courts were empty – that she began to control her magic for the first time in her life.

The solution to her problem was absurdly simple – it was merely a matter of controlling her breathing. As she drew elemental power into herself, she exhaled and refrained from inhalation until she had gathered and cast whatever element she happened to be working with. The very first afternoon had been a frustrating trial of failure after failure as she struggled to control her breathing. It was one thing to breath rhythmically in meditation – it was quite another to do the same in simulated battle. But it became easier as she caught the knack of it.

She had not considered what would happen if she mistimed her breathing but she found out one afternoon – an orb of fire snapped free of her control and left her unconscious until Xu Zhu, Xiahou Dun, and Xiahou Yuan arrived in the practice court later that evening to spar. She roused to find Sima Yi leaning over her and waving a foul-smelling pouch beneath her nose. With a disgusted sneeze, she pushed his hand away.

"Are you alright?" he asked mildly as he leaned back on his haunches and rested his hands lightly on his knees. She gingerly pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead and sat up, waiting to be sick.

"I'm… fine," she said with some surprise as she lifted her hand from her head. She pushed herself to her feet and dusted herself off. The other three men eyed her warily before turning away to take up practice weapons and begin warming up – on the other end of the courtyard.

Zhi watched them go, surprised at the hurt she felt. It had never been her intention to get close to any of these people, but she was damned tired of being alone. She heard the rustle of Sima Yi's robes as he stood behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You need to control this, Zhi," he said quietly. "Helplessness on the battlefield will kill you."

She shrugged his hand away, watching the other three men begin to exchange blows, cursing each other good-naturedly.

"I know," she said tiredly, before she turned away to return to her room.

"What are you looking at?"

Zhi turned to face Xiahou Dun, whose practice blade was propped on his shoulder, and pointed up on the nearby roof.

"That raven," she said, lowering her arm and turning back to watch the bird. "It's acting so strangely, like it isn't even afraid of us."

"Indeed," she heard him say, amusement tingeing his voice. Then a peculiarly piercing whistle echoed across the courtyard. She watched the huge black raven take flight, ducked as it swooped down upon her, and then over her. Turning, she watched in wonder as Xiahou Dun held his free arm up in the air to allow the bird to land nimbly upon his leather-gauntleted forearm. He made a clucking sound to which the bird responded with a raucous 'caw.' Then he transferred the bird to his shoulder, where it fluffed its feathers self-importantly before proceeding to preen.

Zhi closed her mouth.

A good-natured groan issued from Xiahou Yuan.

"Damn, little brother, I wish you would get rid of that overgrown chicken," he called as he and Xu Zhu disengaged their practice blades.

Xiahou Dun laughed and said in an aside to Zhi,

"He is jealous, you see," he raised his voice so the other men could hear; "Jet is much smarter than my brother ever could hope to be."

"Jet," she murmured, hiding a grin behind her hand, "That's apt." The bird turned its head to peer at her with a small, onyx eye, then squawked loudly and took to flight.

"So," Xiahou Dun said, startling her as she watched the flight of the raven. "Would you like to spar? We could use a fourth, especially one who uses a staff."

Zhi eyed the three of them dubiously. They were all taller than the average man, and bigger than anyone she had seriously sparred with. She was tall for a woman – of a height with the average man, and strong with it – but these elite warriors of one of the Imperial Armies made her feel downright petite. Even Cao Ang or Cao Cao, sons of noble families, did not have the imposing physical presence of their lieutenants. Dian Wei was the only man she had ever met that was bigger than these three.

But then she felt a small smile touch her lips. These men would provide a challenge to her fledgling martial skills and would bestow upon her a huge advantage with respect to the common soldier.

"I would be honored," she said, with a slight inclination of her head.

Xiahou Dun eyed her suspiciously.

"Whoa now, girl. What was that look you got in your eyes just then? You're not going to slip some shifty wizard's tricks in on us? We've seen how Sima Yi uses than fan of his."

"A fan? Really? Oh… no. I am still learning how to properly summon my magic. I won't use it in sparring."

Xiahou Dun continued to eye her askance, but Xu Zhu had moved closer them by then, his round face alight with interest.

"Are you sparring with us?"

"I'll be trying," she replied.

"As long as you don't scorch me," he said, eyes narrowing, "Sima Yi gave a scar I'll have until my death."

"Aye!" Xiahou Yuan shouted, "And that day won't be long in coming with the way you fight!"

"Here now! I'll send you crying to your mother before you even realize you're beaten!"

"Not likely, little man."

Xu Zhu and Xiahou Yuan swept their weapons into ready positions, and then began to spar genially, scuffling like boys.

As she watched them, Zhi felt Xiahou Dun move up beside her. They watched the two men for a moment before Xiahou Dun sighed.

"The greatest warriors of the Wei army," he chuckled. Then he hefted his practice weapon experimentally.

"So," he said. "Which staff do you use?"

"Twin-tipped spear. Cao Ang has just begun teaching me the forms."

Xiahou Dun's eyebrows lifted in surprise.

"Really? That's a big weapon for a little girl like you."

"I manage," Zhi replied grumpily, a little chagrined at his amusement. She retrieved a practice stave, weighted at both ends to mimic the foot of steel, and began to work through her warm-up forms. Xiahou Dun watched her, his expression becoming less amused and more thoughtful.

"You have excellent wrist flexibility and forearm strength," he commented as she finished. "I reckon you will do more than mange. But let's see, shall we?"

Zhi's heart thundered as they bowed and took up ready positions. She had been surprised and inwardly pleased at his comment; her wrists and forearms were still sore from that first rigorous day Cao Ang had worked her through – her muscles had had to adjust to the different heft and weight of the new weapon.

But though the pain was there, it was not distracting; in fact, she forgot about it as she met Xiahou Dun's scimitar in the first engagement. His style did not mimic Cao Ang's precise adherence to the forms. His style was more direct - he did not waste motion and he favored aggressive, unceasing offensive movements.

Zhi found him a highly satisfying sparring partner – he did not pull his swings like Cao Ang seemed to unconsciously do and she liked that. He took her seriously, despite her obvious inexperience.

She was able to hold him at bay for quite some time and although she had only managed a few paltry swipes as an offense, she felt she had gained much from just using the defensive forms.

"Not bad," he said to her as they moved apart some time later. She leaned on her staff, noticeably gasping for air and pouring sweat. Her shoulders ached from absorbing the ringing blows she had parried. He, on the other hand, barely breathed hard and a faint sheen to his skin was the only indication that he had even moved.

"How long have you been working with that?" He asked, as he moved to replace his practice weapon in the racks.

"A few days -" Zhi began, cutting off as he stumbled and turned to look at her in mild surprise.

"Truly?"

"Well, yes. I have been working with the pike mainly, but Cao Ang thought I would do better with the spear."

"He thought right. But then that man could teach a rock to use a blade. With you, the potential… It is too bad you were not born a boy…" he trailed off, staring at her in an odd way – almost as one would gaze jealously at a coveted item.

"Ah! Bai Zhi!"

Both Zhi and Xiahou Dun looked over toward Cao Ang as he entered the courtyard. Zhi groaned to herself. Here came Cao Ang for her lesson.

But instead of picking a weapon out of the racks, he strode over to them, holding up a small sheet of parchment.

"Marching orders," he declared almost gleefully.

Zhi sighed in contentment as she came up for air, blessedly cool water streaming from her face. She had found the big pond while looking for a quiet place for meditation after the soldiers had set up camp. Without a second thought, she had shed her sweaty clothes and entered the water, enjoying the cool bliss.

For the past week she had been on the march with Cao Ang, Dian Wei, and their small detachments. Each day had dawned hotter and more humid than the one before – or so it had seemed to her. The men seemed unaffected by the heat; they merely adjusted their armor, mopped sweat from perspiring faces, and carried on. Zhi, however, had made no effort to hide her discomfort. She had shed hot, smelly leather armor and rolled the sleeves of her shirt so that her arms were as bare as Dian Wei's. She began to see why he went about with a shaven head and minimal armor – much cooler that way.

During the hottest hours of the day, the men wrapped white water-soaked cloths about their heads to keep the worst of the sun off. Seeming to understand her envious gaze, Dian Wei had reined his horse up beside hers and offered a square of the white cloth and patiently showed her how to wrap it about her head so that the end hung over her neck. When she turned to smile appreciatively at him, he had already ridden ahead to take his place beside Cao Ang.

Zhi sighed again in pleasure and turned her thoughts to the mission as she lazily floated in the water beneath the cool moonlight. Bandits had been harassing a few small villages just within the eastern border of Cao Cao's territory. Due to the location, Cao Cao suspected remnants of the Yellow Turbans. Zhi had been sent with Cao Ang and Dian Wei to show the way to former outposts should the bandits reveal themselves as members of the scattered army of Zhang Jiao.

Suddenly no longer content, she turned and began to swim back to shore with long, even strokes. She was anxious to finish with this mission but her unease had no close end in sight. While she had convinced herself she was firmly loyal to Cao Cao's cause, she could not help but feel a traitor.

Zhi, however, knew of a small outpost within a day's march of their current location and would lead the soldiers to it to confirm the presence – or absence - of the pesky bandits, Yellow Turban or not.

A glance to the sky showed her that the moon had risen above the treetops. She sighed in misery. If she did not return soon, her absence would be noticed, and Dian Wei's scouts would come looking for her. She ducked under the water one last time and swam toward shore. She felt the heat hit her as she stood up from the water. Even at night, with the liquid pouring off of her skin, the heat was oppressive. She did not relish a battle in it. She inwardly groaned at the thought.

As she reached for her clothes, a slight noise in the surrounding forest caught her attention. With a silent hiss, she crouched, fumbling in the dark for something to hide her nakedness.

_Damn them!_ She thought. _I can't have any privacy with all of these __**men**__ tromping about! Please, don't let them see me!_

She grabbed something – her tunic – and drew it awkwardly over her head with one hand, while groping for the rest of her things with the other. The tunic only covered her to mid-thigh, but it was better than nothing. And it was certainly better than allowing one of the sentries to stumble upon her while struggling into the rest of her clothes.

Her pounding heart stopped when an unfamiliar voice spoke in the darkness,

"And what do we have here?"

Zhi swallowed hard as shabby, but dangerous looking men appeared from the trees. Leers appeared on faces scraggly with unkempt beards. She dropped into a fighting stance, baring her teeth and trying to hide her terror.

She counted the ones that she could see, trying not to worry about the ones she could not see, lurking in the darkness still. The one who had spoken began to move closer. She fought to control her breathing – the camp was more than a half a mile away. She could alert them, but it would take them some time to arrive to aid her; if they even heard her shouts. And if she lost control of her magic, she would be at the mercy of the bandits. She was not naïve; she had no doubt as to what her fate would be.

With a sublime force of will, she forced her breathing to assume the proper rhythms. Then, as loud as she could,

"AMBUSH!"

As the man in front of her rushed at her, she wondered vaguely why he had not drawn the sword at his left hip. Then she grinned savagely.

_Because he was not expecting __**this**__!_

A bolt of lightning roared out of the clear night sky, accompanying thunder crashed down simultaneously. Zhi had her eyes closed, but red light burned through her eyelids. Harsh roars of pain and confusion echoed in the following darkness, shattering the moment of heavy silence following the blast.

She opened her eyes. The man before her was an unrecognizable, smoldering lump on the ground. Zhi turned her attention to the others. Most of them were blundering about blindly, their night vision ruined by the fierce light of the elemental attack. But two were making their way unerringly toward her.

Almost casually, Zhi summoned Fire and they went up in a blaze so hot that they were dead before they could scream.

"Witch!"

Zhi whirled. Men were pouring from the trees.

_I suppose these are our bandits,_ she thought wryly to herself. Her attention was distracted by an eerie whistling sound that coalesced into an arrow. Before she could react, it sliced through the meaty portion of her upper arm. Blurting out a surprised sound of pain, she tried a simple summoning of Air, one she had thus far not mastered – and laughed in triumph. The dome formed around her, exactly as the scroll said it would, and would keep out the arrows.

However, it would not stop the men. She did not know how to form a Dome that would keep living beings out.

Three came at her, brandishing various types of weapons. She took a breath, released it, and a second tower of flame rose into the sky. As it died, she heard familiar voices in the night. Wincing as arrows clattered against her Dome, she called out,

"Cao Ang! They have archers!"

She did not expect a reply and did not wait for one. Letting the Dome dissipate, she darted into the night, seeking the relative safety of the trees – and the archers that would easily pick off her comrades. Swearing in disgust as she nearly tripped over the charred corpse of one her attackers, she leapt into the brush as another arrow nearly hit her. In the more complete darkness of the foliage, she crouched and listened. She could not see anything; the feeble rays of the moon did not penetrate though the treetops.

A thought flashed through her mind. The scroll had hinted at something…

Hesitantly, she extended her arm in front of her body, the palm of her hand facing outward, fingers spread – the sensitive pads of her fingertips bared to the air. She held her breath, summoned Air, and waited.

Slowly, the sounds of the night reached her ears. The scurrying of tiny creatures, the faint rustling of the leaves, and…. there! She tensed, recognizing the rush of air into and out of a human chest. Of two, three – she counted five in all.

_Only five?_ She thought.

With their relative positions fixed in her mind, she summoned Fire. Forming a tiny, compact sphere formed entirely of the powerful element, she studied it in amazement for a second before she flung it with lethal accuracy at the nearest archer. The Firebolt was as solid as a crossbow bolt and just as lethal. She _Listened_ and heard it punch through leather armor and flesh like paper. The archer died silently.

Fiercely proud of her work, she turned her attention the remaining four archers and went through the same process. _Listen, Firebolt. Listen, Firebolt_. Her work was flawless and took less than a minute.

She turned her attention back to the others. Closest to her, in the clearing between the forest and the shore of the pond, she recognized Dian Wei easily. His shaven head gleamed in the moonlight and he swung his massive axe with brutal efficiency. The silvery arc of his blade was stained bright red with fresh blood and made a mockery of the half moon whose shape it mimicked. She watched the warrior as he fought, forgetting herself in the awe of his power. He had apparently been roused from sleep, or some sort of rest, for he was bare-footed and bare-chested; his only accoutrement being the targe strapped to his left forearm that he used both to bash opponents and block the swipes of their weapons.

Shaking her head sharply in disgust with herself, she burst into the clearing as Dian Wei hacked the head from a man's body, kicking the headless corpse away as it slowly fell. He turned toward her, obviously expecting an opponent, and then grinned fiercely – more a baring of teeth – when he recognized her.

Together they turned to re-engage the battle, back-to-back, ready for the next assault.

But to Zhi's surprise, the battle was already over. She was astonished to note the numbers of bodies on the ground. Relieved that none appeared to be from their ranks, she made a silent tally. Over thirty – not including the six she had taken out by Fire and Lightning, nor the five archers that still lay in the trees.

At his call, she turned to recognize Cao Ang waving his sword in her direction. She could not make out his expression with his face obscured by his helmet, but his body language was not angry.

She smiled and returned his wave, then stopped to look curiously at the figure staggering up behind him. A bared blade rose up over Cao Ang's head and behind her Dian Wei roared,

"NO!" He rushed toward Cao Ang with surprising swiftness but he would never be able to stop the would-be assassin.

Zhi did not think; with a flick of her fingers, she summoned and released a pulse of power she had never in her life dreamed she could call. It was a chaotic tangle of Earth and Air, and when it hit the man behind Cao Ang, the elements were absorbed in his body. Time seemed to hang suspended as she watched the blade hover over Cao Ang helplessly. Silence, louder than the earlier crash of thunder, lay heavy over the clearing.

Suddenly, a horrified expression twisted the assassin's features. The silence was broken as his body exploded from within. Cao Ang was splattered with unrecognizable lumps of tissue and gruesome fluids. One of the soldiers that had been hurrying to his aid suddenly threw himself away from the carnage and began retching.

She had unknowingly moved forward and Dian Wei was a solid presence to her right; she caught a look of pure disbelief on his severe features.

Cao Ang's eyes were wide with both shock and disgust. He held his arms away from his body, and his shoulders were hunched against the mess that covered him.

"Zhi," he said quietly, almost calmly. "Did that man just… explode?" His voice broke on the last word.

In a small voice, she replied,

"I… I think so."

Cao Ang nodded solemnly. The sounds of more retching filled the quiet. The soldiers stood uselessly nearby, not quite knowing what to do. Cao Ang slowly turned to stare behind him for a moment.

He stared at the grisly remains of his attacker for a moment before he raised his head to address them.

"Gather up the bodies and burn them," he said firmly, not a hint of his emotions revealing themselves in his voice. "Take their weapons and search their belongings for information, then return to camp." He was silent a moment. "And double the watch."

His voice seemed to restore action to the men. As Cao Ang began stripping off his armor, he strode toward the pond.

The sudden release of tension caused Zhi return to herself. In dawning horror, she stared at what she had wrought and began to tremble. Dian Wei grabbed her when she began to sway.

"Here now," he growled brusquely, "There's no need for that – you did just fine." He grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and turned her to face him.

"Consider this you first lesson – you must control your emotions if you are to have any hope to combat blood lust."

He watched her regain control of herself and nodded curtly. It was at that point that he noticed her state of near undress and looked away, a harsh breath leaving him. He snapped his fingers briskly at a nearby soldier and said,

"Corporal, your cloak." The man did not hesitate. He must have been on duty, for he was still wearing all of his gear. Very carefully not looking at her, the corporal untied his oiled rain cloak lashed at the small of his back and passed it to Dian Wei. Abruptly, exhaustion roared through her body and she staggered when he passed the cloak to her.

Turning away from her as she settled the cloak around her shoulders, he barked,

"Cao Ang! I'm taking her back to camp."

Cao Ang did not answer, but waved a hand in their direction as a reply. Now shirtless, he was scrubbing sticky blood from his armor and tunic at the edge of the pond. A second soldier approached Dian Wei.

"The Lady's…ah… things, lieutenant," he said, holding out the rest of her clothes and her boots. The big warrior accepted them with one hand and steered Zhi away from the general vicinity of the battleground, a firm hand at the small of her back. He gave her her boots as she stopped to sit on a boulder. She fumbled awkwardly with them, trying to keep the cloak around her and pull a boot on at the same time, her limbs flaccid with exhaustion. Frustrated, she jumped when Dian Wei knelt before her began easing the boot onto her foot.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, "I just can't seem to – "

"Don't worry about it," he interrupted as he settled the other boot on her foot.

She remained silent, watching him.

"Come on," he said, pulling her to her feet. He began to lead her back to the campsite before stopping suddenly to eye her speculatively.

"And stop thinking about it."

Pulling her along by a hand, he tramped into the trees.

"How can I not think about it?" she snapped suddenly. "That was evil magic!"

She could not see the expression on his face, but she heard him snort.

"How was killing that last man different from killing the others? Why is that particular act so much more wicked than using Lightning or Fire or a blade to kill? In a battle you either kill or you are killed yourself. You did the killing and you are alive; so is Cao Ang for that matter, another man lives because of your actions. The means with which you slay a man in battle does not constitute your affiliation with good or evil – it just means that you are better at it than the other man."

"Well then why do I feel so bad?" she asked angrily. "Why did Cao Ang look at me as if I were some sort of monster?"

"You are no monster," he growled. "You are a survivor. Anything else does not matter"

She remained silent. He was right; she had no reason to feel guilty. The man had died quickly. She was sure it would not have been so for her had she been captured. With a deep breath, she straightened shoulders that she had not realized had been hunched in a defeated manner. Dian Wei glanced over at her newly determined expression and stopped pulling her along.

A satisfied expression took over his face as he gazed at her.

"Very good," he murmured. "We'll make a warrior of you yet."

It was at that moment that her attitude – her entire being - changed. Confidence settled over her and she drew herself up haughtily in the borrowed cloak. No longer would she skulk about, self-deprecating and guilt-ridden. A newfound passion began to burn in her heart and she suddenly began to anticipate the next battle. She grinned up at Dian Wei, who responded with a rare smile.

"It will be an honor to fight with you," he said quietly. His expression changed and Zhi caught her breath. Tension sprang up between them. She could not wrench her gaze from the darkness of his eyes.

The palpable mood shattered as a sentry hailed the Captain, who shook his head once as if to clear it and turned away from her to answer. She shook her own head, feeling as if something significant had just occurred. Dian Wei gave his orders to the sentry, and then turned back to her, passing over the rest of her clothes. They entered the camp side by side, equals now. He escorted her to her tent, both of them silent.

Holding the canvas flap up for her, he said,

"Cao Ang will be expecting a debriefing. I'll send someone for you when he returns."

Zhi stared up at him for a moment, and then ducked into the tent. It took her a moment the still the fine trembling that had suffused her body, a shivering that no longer resulted from her horror of her magic, but from an emotion far more primitive. Quashing her thoughts deep into her mind, she began dressing.


	6. Passion's Killing Floor

Alone in her tent, Zhi scrambled into a fresh set of clothing and pinned her braid to her head. With her hair freshly smoothed and out of her face and her travel-stained clothes changed, she almost felt as if she were not in the field. She felt better than she had in days. It was as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders; she had not realized how crushing her uncertainty had been in the past few weeks since learning of her strange heritage.

Even the smothering heat seemed to have waned.

She turned to leave her tent and caught sight of her spear lying next to her bedroll. She stared at it for a moment.

Her magic had worked perfectly tonight. She had been a defenseless woman against overwhelming odds and prevailed. Flashes of memory flickered through her mind and she smiled to herself. A red mist crept over her vision as she recalled her kills. Sweeping her arms out, she let Lightning and Fire fill her.

_I don't need them_, she thought to herself. _I have more power than Sima Yi or Cao Cao combined! I could destroy them all with a thought!_

Mad laughter bubbled up from her chest. She would do it right now; she would destroy this pathetic encampment and its soldiers and take care of the rest of the bandits alone. It would only be the beginning. She could gain control of Cao Cao's army and…

Cursing, she released the elements, falling to her knees with the force of the departure of power.

_What the hell was that?_

She rubbed her eyes as the red mist suddenly faded. She took deep breaths to make up for the time spent without breathing. Slowly, the thudding of her heart lessened. She shuddered.

_Were those __**my**__ thoughts?_ She wondered. _Do I truly believe those things?_

She sat quietly but the reckless euphoria did not return.

_No_, she told herself firmly. _I am here to help bring peace to the land, not embroil it in yet another battle for power._

She made a decision and picked up her spear, squeezing the haft until her hand began to hurt and her knuckles turned white.

_I can control it_.

Satisfied, and after buckling the harness for her standard-issue machete and a dagger about her waist for good measure, she ducked out of her tent and tucked the spear under her arm. Looking about she noticed that except for the extra sentries Cao Ang had ordered, the camp had returned to normal. The twenty five soldiers in her second platoon were camped nearest her tent and they all stood from sharpening weapons and oiling armor to salute her. She stopped in surprise. They had never treated her with the same respect as they had the other lieutenants. She had expected that, men believed that women had no place in battle – and especially not in command. She recognized that, but had not realized that winning their respect was something she would gain in a little skirmish.

Pleased, she acknowledged them with a wave of her spear and a grin. The two platoons assigned to her for the mission were relatively new soldiers; some she had even trained with during her first few weeks in Cao Cao's army. But they were obedient and hard-working. She could not ask for more.

Cao Ang raised an eyebrow at her as she entered the command tent.

"If you put on an extra dagger and shave your head, I will probably mistake you for Dian Wei next time," he said wryly.

Zhi gave him a withering look and sat across from him, laying her spear across her lap. She jumped when Dian Wei and one of his sergeants entered the tent, and then moved to one side so the big bodyguard could toss some scraps of ragged yellow linen on the low table before Cao Ang. Ang sighed and rubbed his eyes, pulling his helmet off and setting it beside him as he did so.

Zhi could not take her eyes off of the scraps. She looked up at Dian Wei, who nodded slightly at the unasked question in her eyes. He sat across from her and, as one, they turned their attention to Ang. The sergeant stepped outside to wait while the three conferred.

It was a moment before Cao Ang spoke,

"I'm sorry, Zhi," he said quietly. "I was hoping you would not have to fight against your former comrades. I will understand if you do not wish to take part in the battle."

She frowned.

"Cao Ang, even if I still harbored any sort of sympathy for Zhang Jiao's cause, I would still join you in battle. You forget - had I been taken captive tonight, well…" She trailed off meaningfully and watched comprehensive dawn in Cao Ang's exquisite eyes. She smiled softly, feeling a little thrill of pride course through her.

"Let's just say that those men out there tonight were not on my side; I have no intention of returning to theirs."

She flicked a glance over at Dian Wei. His arms were crossed over his broad chest and his mouth was quirked up in one corner, as if he were amused. Zhi shifted uncomfortably and returned her attention to Cao Ang. He nodded once to himself.

"Point taken. Dian Wei, your scouts have located the bandits' outpost?"

"They have. If we march all day tomorrow, we can attack before dawn on the next day."

"Excellent, do you have troop estimates?"

Zhi found herself leaning forward, fascinated, as Dian Wei presented his scouts' information and the two planned the attack. She began to see why Sima Yi had drilled her mercilessly with the information, but it was only then that she saw the formations and strategies as they were meant to be utilized. Her troops would be the ones forfeiting their lives if she did not pay attention. Her feelings were a heady mix of anxiety and delight. And power.

She would wield the power of life and death over her men. Her magic would rain destruction down upon her enemies and…

Red crept over her vision and her breathing turned harsh.

Dian Wei noticed her struggle and watched her out of the corner of his eyes as she fought to bring her emotions under control. She clenched both hands about her spear and with an effort, banished that thought of greed for power. She returned her attention to Cao Ang, who was going over his strategy on a map and had not noticed her mental battle. Dian Wei appeared intent upon his commander's orders, but a tiny gleam burned in his eyes.

The preparations did not take long. Before she could begin to get restless, Dian Wei and Cao Ang had stood. She rose to her feet as Dian Wei ducked out of the tent. She turned to leave as well, but stopped as Cao Ang gripped her upper arm with a firm hand. She sucked in a breath of pain as he put pressure on her injury. She had forgotten about the arrow wound. He released her when she faced him, frowning as his gaze was caught by the nearly invisible blotch forming on her blue tunic.

"Ouch," she muttered absently as she rolled her sleeve up to inspect the wound.

"Well, damn," Cao Ang exclaimed as he drew her to a seat. Leaving her on the stool, he rummaged around in a pack and brought out a small bandage kit that was standard issue for any soldier.

"When were you going to get this taken care of?"

"I… forgot about it…."

"Mmhhmmm, it's bad enough to require stitches, you silly woman, and you say you _forgot_ about it?"

Zhi shrugged. He did not need to know about her mental issues.

"Well, the stitches would most likely have torn out in the upcoming battle so I'll just bind it tightly," he continued, doing exactly that as spoke.

The silence stretched out as he worked. It was a comfortable silence, and their knees bumped companionably. When he finished, Zhi pulled her sleeve down with a murmured appreciation.

"Good job," she said approvingly, "Maybe you missed your calling."

"I am sure," he said laughingly as he put his supplies away, "That I would make a wonderful village healer."

Zhi remembered the old crone who had acted as healer in her home village and shuddered. She was glad she had never required her services.

"On second thought, maybe not," she replied.

"It's okay," he said, "My father would go into fits if I left the army anyway."

She smiled and fiddled with a strap on her harness. She froze as gentle fingers touched her chin.

Cao Ang suddenly looked tired as she raised her head to face him.

"Bai Zhi," he whispered, "That… thing you did to that man…" he paused, swallowed, "Please do not do that again."

She recoiled from him as his words hit her like a physical blow.

"Wha… what?" she asked raggedly.

"That was evil magic," he said softly.

Zhi felt the blood drain from her face.

"Stop," he ordered tersely. "I do not accuse _you_ of evil, Zhi, you saved my life! But the magic, it... it…" he paused and visibly brought himself back into control. "I believe you now, that – "

"That a mage's descent into madness and bloodlust is inevitable," she snapped, interrupting him, her voice quivering with both fury and sorrow.

"Yes… no…" he made an exasperated noise. "Ah, damn, I don't know."

He was silent. While he gathered his thoughts, her anger left her. Feeling drained and heavy of heart, she thought of Dian Wei, of his approval of her abilities and their effectiveness in battle, and wrapped those thoughts around herself like a comforting blanket.

"I would never believe you capable of evil, my friend," he finally said quietly.

"Then why did you say it?" she asked.

He could only gaze at her, and Zhi's heart fell at the look in his eyes. Cao Ang was honorable, dutiful, a pillar of discipline and self-control. He would never understand that as she gained mastery over her magic, so would it gain mastery over her. It would force her to constantly balance on the fine line between darkness and light. He was one who walked the paths of light without a sideways glance for the shadows.

"Don't look at me like that," she whispered, "I am not a monster yet."

Zhi rode in silence. The camaraderie that she had shared with Cao Ang at the start of their mission was strained. He rode beside her, quiet and still, apparently lost in thought. Dian Wei rode on her other side, his eyes alert and searching, his uncritical presence a comfort.

She was confused about how she felt about him. This was the man that had – in all likelihood – killed her brother and taken her out of her life to a side she would never have chosen. And yet… none of it seemed to matter.

She was beginning to think that her initial responses to him had not been fear at all.

At that thought she sternly reined in her musings – this was a dangerous path to tread. It was not a good idea to fall in love with a comrade-in-arms; Death was more resentful than any former lover. She stared straight ahead, her eyes wide and unblinking to keep the sudden tears from falling. For suddenly she could not halt the rush of memory at the thought of Jin…

"_Baby sister!" called Liang as he banged into her tent. Zhi hurled one of her thick leather shin greaves at him._

"_Oi, Liang, I'm not dressed yet!" she snapped. He caught the thrown armor and tossed it back at her, his grin never leaving his face. _

"_Sure you are! Everything important is covered! You're entirely too modest," he said. "Besides, I'm sure Sergeant Yuen has seen more than this."_

"_Shut up!" she hissed, finishing with her shin guards and jerking her gauntlets on as her brother rifled through her pack and pulled out an apple. "Someone will hear!"_

_He spoke through bites of the fruit._

"_Everyone knows, Zhiya. Nobody cares."_

"_Well, I care," she answered. "I can't maintain any sort of professionalism if everyone starts to talk about it; I have a hard enough time keeping these glorified thugs under control."_

_Liang shrugged her worries away as he finished her apple and tossed it out of the tent. He smacked his hands against his thighs to brush them off and then grabbed her around the neck in a one-armed hug._

"_Awww, but the two of you are so sweet," he said, kissing her on top of her head and releasing her. He laughed at her exasperated expression. "You're too serious anyway. Actually, the men enjoy your little forbidden romance. Makes them think they have a chance."_

_Zhi rolled her eyes as Liang made kissing noises at her._

"_Ughh, that's disgusting, Li. Besides, General Guan made it clear that I was not to fraternize with the soldiers and-"_

"_Actually," he interrupted, "The _General _also assured proper instruction for your powers in return for your loyalty but has not yet seen fit to deliver. He sends us on these useless missions and does not give us a chance to prove our worth. So I say do what you will."_

"Oh real mature, Li," she said wryly as she buckled her sword belt around her waist.

"_Hey, I'm just looking out for the well-being of my baby sister," he replied innocently, blinking harmlessly at her._

_She snorted._

"_That's believable. You just want to marry me off so you don't have to take care of me anymore." She thrust her machete into its scabbard – pointedly ignoring the fact that she missed the scabbard and nearly sliced off a finger on her first attempt - picked up her saddle and harness, and then made to stalk past him. She stopped in surprise when he reached out to gently touch her shoulder._

"_I will always take care of you," he said, his face uncharacteristically serious for a moment before it fell into its normal mischievous lines. "But I did not know you were considering marriage. Should I go congratulate the lucky man?"_

"_I am not! No! Liang-" She aimed a kick at his rear, missed, but clipped the back of his knee hard enough to send him sprawling out of her tent. If they had not been in the middle of an army encampment – with some dignity to maintain – she would have thrown herself onto his back, elbows first. Instead, she made do with walking haughtily past him and hoping that he would not grab her by an ankle._

_She could hear his laughter fade into the distance as she made her way to her horse - let him strike her tent, he had already ruined her morning. She worried constantly about her forbidden relationship with Jin and her brother was not helping matters by blathering on about it in everyone's hearing._

_At the picket line, she untied her gelding and led him out of the way of the camp's activity to saddle him. Dropping her gear, she dug the apple that had been intended for her breakfast out of a pack and fed it to her horse. Leaving him placidly chewing, she slung the saddle onto his back and began tightening the cinch._

"_You should have one of your men do that for you," a calm voice said behind her. Zhi smiled to herself and continued her work without looking back._

"_Are you volunteering then?" she asked, finishing with a knot and moving to pick up her saddlebags._

"_Possibly."_

_Holding both saddlebags, Zhi turned with a quip to confront Jin but was silenced by his lips on hers. Somehow, her arms – of their own accord – had dropped the bags and flung themselves around him as her treacherous body molded itself to his. Lost in bliss, she struggled back to reality and pulled away from him – but not without regret._

"_How dare you take liberties with me, sergeant," she murmured coyly as he picked up her bags to strap to her saddle. "I should have you beaten for your impertinence."_

"_My apologies great lady, it was just that I was so taken with your magnificent beauty and…"_

"_Oh go on!" she snorted, moving to her horse's head with the bridle._

_As they worked together in silence, Zhi stole glances at the man, firmly restraining herself from giggling. She was amazed by her foolish reactions to him. _

_He had been assigned to her unit just at the beginning of winter. She had taken an immediate liking to the man; as a solider, he was firmly competent and took much of the strain of leading her unit off of her hands to allow her to work on her martial and magical skills. A scarred veteran, he was nearly thirty, with no family. He had been a mercenary all of his adult life until he had been drawn to Zhang Jiao's cause. He was a skilled warrior – he fought expertly with both broadsword and pike and was a good shot with a bow. Although he had a somewhat plain face, he had kind eyes and a compassionate heart._

_She had not entertained thoughts of anything but a professional relationship with him until a few weeks ago. A sudden, severe blizzard had moved through the region and she and Jin had been separated from their troops. They had found shelter in an abandoned hut and the attempt to keep warm and alive had turned into something quite different, but just as instinctive._

_Surprisingly, Zhi discovered that Jin had had a mind as skilled and exceptional as his body and the visceral response developed into something much deeper until she could not help but love him._

_Of course, she should have halted such relations; Guan Hai had made it quite clear that she would be stripped of her rank and whipped should the situation arise. Jin had known this and they had tried to avoid each other. But she was unaccountably drawn to him. Like a craving – or an addiction.. _

_She smiled grimly to herself at that thought. Common sense told her to stay away from the man if she wanted a future in this army. Of course, common sense was not known to run in her family; her father had died trying to take revenge on a group of bandits that had raided their village. Liang was the same, notorious for taking extreme risks; death just had not yet caught up with him._

"_You're doing it again." Jin's voice was quiet._

"_What?"_

"_You seem to go off into another world sometimes."_

"_Just thinking about the campaign. We will be attacking Xia Pi once the weather clears."_

"_I'm sure that's exactly what you were thinking about." He touched her cheek lightly and continued softly. "You worry too much."_

_Zhi could not disagree with him so she did not reply. Instead, she mounted her horse and smiled down at him._

"_And you worry too much about _me_, sergeant," she replied._

_He grinned up at her._

"_That is something I will never stop doing," he said before bowing slightly and leaving to form up the platoon._

_Zhi let her gaze follow his vigorous form for a moment before settling her gear for the ride. _

_A short time later, the two platoons were on the march. Zhi and Liang were leading the small – fifty men total - supply caravan to outfit a larger portion of the Yellow Turban army, and were slowed by the ungainly wagons. In her opinion, it was the most boring duty she and Liang could have been given. Her brother had accurately voiced her own thoughts while speaking his._

_Throughout the morning, she received reports from the scouts and tried to keep alert. She was resisting the urge to shriek with the boredom when shouts from Liang's forward guards shattered the morning stillness before breaking off._

_Liang had already kicked his horse into a gallop and sped past her, his sword already unsheathed._

"_Yah! Attack!" he shouted with glee as he swept the point of his sword forward. His warriors were close behind him. Zhi felt a grin on her face as she dismounted to begin using her magic. She wasn't looking forward to the sickness, but the pulse of blood through her body in battle was a heady rush. Jin ran by, broadsword in hand, and Zhi tossed the reins to him._

"_Take over command; I'll back you up with magic."_

_Jin leapt onto her horse and slapped its rump with the flat of his blade. He didn't make it more than a few yards from her before enemy soldiers burst out of the trees around them._

"_Dammit, they've surrounded us!" Jin shouted. "All squads for-" _

_His words cut off in a choke. Zhi was shocked out of her concentration and she watched in horror as Jin fell from the saddle, his hands scrabbling uselessly at his throat. Zhi felt her heart stop in her chest. Magic forgotten, she drew her blade and began hacking wildly into the men that came at her. It was more desperation and luck than skill that moved her weapon as she struggled to reach his side._

_Her breath ragged with ineffectual panic, she fell into an almost meditative rhythm of motion. She bared her teeth in triumph as she felt her blade shear through leather and muscle and bone. Men in the throes of death fell in her wake, gruesome markers tracing her maddened path through the battle._

"_Return fire, you gutless sons of pigs!" Liang's furious command broke her concentration and she grunted as the butt of a spear thudded into her ribcage. She fell heavily, the breath forced from her lungs. As she struggled for air, she managed to parry the spear-wielder's killing blow. She swiped at his legs with her machete feebly and managed to gasp in a breath of relief when the tip of an arrow suddenly appeared in the man's chest. Red blossomed out from around it and he stared down in surprise before falling beside her, choking on blood as he died._

_Zhi was about to surge to her feet to reengage her weapon when she felt her face drain. Jin lay beside her, facing away from her, his limbs sprawled awkwardly from the fall he had taken. Swallowing past a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, she turned him onto his back, terrified of what she would find._

_Her instincts had not failed her. Jin's eyes stared vacantly up at her, the glaze of death already dulling them. The arrow that killed him had broken during his fall and only the tip and a small piece of the shaft remained in his throat. With trembling fingers, she closed the sightless eyes._

_She did not know she had stood, but a rage so strong it was almost physically painful had consumed her. She raised her hands in the air and with them came Fire. She had never summoned so much of an element but did not care for the consequences. Her aim was to destroy every single soldier that had marched with the one who had killed the man at her feet. Screams of the dying filled the air, grisly paeans of homage to her power. With an immense effort, she gathered control of the massive column of Fire and pushed it outward in all directions, expanding the radius of her circle and consuming more lives._

_The power drained from her in a sudden rush, taking with it all of her strength. She slowly sank to the ground beside Jin's body. She almost welcomed the familiar darkness as it claimed her. In the distance, Liang's voice frantically called her name._

Zhi shook her head to clear the memories. She glanced at the two men on either side of her before surreptitiously rubbing at an eye.

_I will never love and lose like that again_.

It had taken her almost a full week to recover from the numerous wounds she had sustained and the fever that had overtaken her body following the strenuous use of magic. Her attack had decimated the majority of the detachment of government soldiers that had ambushed them. The soldiers of her platoon that had survived the blast and Liang's troops had taken care of the rest. Her exploits in the skirmish were such that Zhang Liang himself had arrived to discuss the terms of her formal apprenticeship with Zhang Jiao. From her sickbed, she had accepted civilly. When the General left, she had wondered if that apprenticeship was worth Jin's life.

Finally, thankfully, she was distracted from her memories when Cao Ang called for a halt in the late afternoon. The soldiers had made good time that day and they had arrived at their destination earlier than had been expected. It gave everyone extra time to rest before the pre-dawn attack. The guard for the night was doubled, and Dian Wei's reconnaissance teams slipped away to make sure their target remained unaware of their presence in the area. Zhi volunteered her men to join Cao Ang's so the watches could be shortened and all could benefit from the extra time to make last minute preparations. Not one to merely observe while her men worked, she took the first watch as the sun began to set. Laying in the dark alone would only give her time to think anyway.

When she was relieved from duty, she was exhausted enough to fall asleep immediately.

Zhi was awakened by the quiet preparations of the men as they readied themselves for the battle. Rolling out of her sleeping roll, she dashed some cold water onto her face, and then immediately pulled on her heavy studded leather tunic. She had had her left gauntlet altered to mimic Dian Wei's, so that it was a smaller version of his targe. Upon observing his style of fighting, she noticed that he often used his left forearm to block swings and even utilize it as a weapon. She had no doubt that the powerful arms could crush a man's skull. She was curious to see if the alteration would give her a much needed advantage. Despite her progress in her training and her height, she still lacked strength as compared to the average man – and as a woman, she unfortunately always would.

For short-range weapons she buckled two extra daggers at her hips; she would leave her machete at camp for even scabbarded it would only get in the way of her spear's range of motion. Slinging the long strap of her canteen across her chest, she hefted her spear experimentally before running a critical eye over the freshly sharpened heads of the twin blades. She twirled the weapon, tucked it under her arm, turned to join her men – and stumbled.

Dian Wei was approaching her, dressed for the battle – sort of. While he was fully outfitted with axe, seven deceptively delicate-seeming throwing daggers, and targe, he had totally forsaken the leather tunics the rest of the soldiers wore; indeed he had neglected any sort of protection above the waist. Only the reinforced harness that held his great axe upside down and diagonally across his back criss-crossed his massive chest. From the wrist-thick haft of the axe over his left shoulder, Zhi's gaze involuntarily followed the lines of his body, fascinated by the way the breadth of his shoulders and chest narrowed over the expanse of his stomach to his hips.

_Like a deer fascinated by the savage strength of a tiger_. She clenched a fist reflexively. _Except I don't feel much like his prey._

She turned away from him and stalked over to the nearest soldier struggling into his gear. Pretending to be occupied in helping the rookie fumble with his armor, she was able to regain her composure by the time he called her name.

"We are going in together," he said, looking over her soldiers with an approving nod as they began to form up.

She felt a horrible urge to giggle.

"Excuse me?" she asked, proud of the way her voice held.

"Your men will come in with Cao Ang's behind mine. My troops will surround the area, block off any route of escape and we will all attack together."

"I know," she replied, confused, "But why do I have to leave my men?"

"You have been in the compound before and can alert us if anything has changed or looks suspicious. Cao Ang believes you will prevent any, ah, surprises if you notice anything amiss."

"Fine," she said, turning to relay the message to her sergeant. Dian Wei's hand closed around her upper arm. She froze, and then slowly faced him. Dark, intense eyes regarded her solemnly as he released her arm.

"We will fight together for the first time. I look forward to it, _galushka_."

His expression changed suddenly; confusion altering his face for an instant, as if he had said something he hadn't meant to.

She opened her mouth to say something – anything – but could not find her voice. She managed to squeak out an acknowledgement and fled to speak with her next in command.

By the time she finished, Dian Wei's men had gathered around their lieutenant and were waiting for her. He nodded to her as she joined them. Some invisible signal passed from him to his troops and they all drew their weapons. Breaking off into squads, they left at a light jog and melted into the forest.

Zhi crouched beside Dian Wei, watching the sparse comings and goings of the bandits as they moved about the compound in the pale gray light of pre-dawn; it was too early for more activity. She was proud of her ability to maintain concentration while he was near. Their close proximity was wreaking havoc on her nerves. She could not stop marveling at how a man with such a hard, angular face could have such perfect, sensual lips.

_At least we're the same rank this time,_ she thought sardonically. _You have a real problem here, girlie._

She was surprised to realize that she actually recognized one of the men; but she was not surprised to see Feng Tsi turned rogue. He represented the worst of the Yellow Turban army. Zhang Jiao had attracted idealistic, noble followers - much like her brother – in droves. Unfortunately, he had also attracted the dregs of society; thieves and murderers, men eager to rebel against any sort of government. They were disreputable, untrustworthy, and unfortunately had made up the majority of the army. Feng had been particularly loathsome.

She would have no qualms about killing him and those with him.

She turned to Dian Wei and nodded. He looked behind them and raised his arm to motion his warriors forward, then returned his gaze to hers. They stared at each other with identical grins spreading across their faces. Then his eyes began to take an unfocused, glassy quality and his breathing quickened. Zhi stared at him. Almost palpable energy rolled off of him; had she not known otherwise, she would have mistaken him for a mage. His power infected her and they stood and turned as one to join battle together.

There were more men in the compound than had been expected, but they were disorganized and lacked leadership. Zhi was initially alarmed as droves of them appeared from the barracks and outbuildings. But beside her Dian Wei roared out a challenge and waded into the nearest group, his axe cleaving a path through them. She watched him for a second, amazed anew by his grace and strength.

_A man that size should not be able to move so agilely_, she thought in admiration.

Then she moved forward to face a second wave.

Her spear was almost a blur as she drove it through the forms. With Air, she added impetus to her movements. Thrusts and stabs of the metal tips were accompanied by bursts of Fire. As men died at the ends of her weapon, something began to grow within her. It was a dark power, one that she had been unconsciously aware of, but had never confronted in the daylight – the part of her that enjoyed the killing. It settled over her mind like a heavy crimson mist.

In a more logical part of her mind, she finally recognized blood lust.

Her vision sharpened and her body moved as if it were not affected by any of the natural laws. She no longer used magic to enhance her fighting. Instead, she drove her spear, almost recklessly, into a close-bunched group of warriors.

Bright droplets of blood arced through the air, trailing the paths of her twin blades as they spun around her body. It splattered everywhere and soon she was covered in it. That only heightened her madness. As she jerked her blade across a man's throat, she laughed. She could not dispel the mad exaltation she felt. It was like bathing in pure, primeval energy so that she felt invincible and full of life.

Columns of flames danced around her as she called her favorite element to assist her. Lightning, writhing from her fingertips and eerily beautiful in the early morning light, chased fleeing men. She rained destruction onto her enemies.

She ran out of victims too soon.

It was only when she noticed the near-silence that had descended before she was able to force herself to a halt. Breathing heavily, she gazed down arrogantly at her victims. The power within her rose to a crest before subsiding in a rush, leaving her feeling physically drained. The tip of her spear slowly descended to rest on the ground. It was at that point that she noticed Dian Wei standing before her, bloodied axe in his hand, and his targe dented and bloodied as well. His throwing daggers were gone. His arms were crimson to the elbows, but no weapon had touched the rest of him. Sanity wavered back into place as she gazed at him. The wary expression on his face vanished to be replaced by one of fierce pride.

"You've controlled it. Very good."

"It was unreal," she breathed. "Is it always like that?"

A ghost of a smile softened the harsh planes of his face. His gaze traveled over her.

"Better," he murmured. "…And worse. You've made quite the mess."

As her breathing began to resume its normal pace, she felt her stomach grumble.

"Ugghh, I've never been so hungry in my life!"

"A side effect. I have extra rations I carry for just that."

"Then let's find Cao Ang so we can leave."

He smiled and touched her cheek lightly. Her breath trembled as it left her.

"Dian Wei! Bai Zhi!"

They both startled and turned their attention to Cao Ang. He was flanked by two of his personal bodyguard. Two other soldiers behind him were dragging a man between them.

She and Dian Wei met them in the middle of the courtyard as Cao Ang looked around in amazement. He nodded at Dian Wei in approval.

"Your work?"

The big man knelt down, jerked loose a fistful of cloth from a dead man's shirt, and rose smoothly to his full height.

"That side was mine," he rumbled, jerking his chin to the left as he began cleaning blood from the half-moon blade of his axe.

Cao Ang surveyed the side of the courtyard Dian Wei had indicated and then turned his attention the opposite side.

"And over there?"

"Mine," Zhi said quietly.

Dian Wei finished with his blade and slung it back into its harness. An expression of smug satisfaction revealed itself in the quirk of his lips. Cao Ang looked as if he had been pole-axed.

"All of those men?"

She shrugged.

"Well, our men were right behind us. I'm sure they accounted for many of the kills."

"No, they were cut off from you both shortly after you entered the compound."

Zhi let her gaze trace the flow of the battle and saw that it was indeed true. To her astonishment, soldiers of Dian Wei's platoon were just beginning to straggle into the courtyard from between the outbuildings. She began to laugh nervously.

"But it's only been a couple of minutes. They would have caught up with us; we were not that far ahead of them."

Dian Wei spoke to her, his voice uncharacteristically mild.

"It's nearly noon, we've fought all morning. We were cut off from my men just after we engaged battle."

Zhi continued to laugh, slowly sinking to one knee, clutching her spear. Her laughter turned into hiccups as tears flowed down her cheeks. It was nothing ostentatious, but she could not stop.

_Am I mad yet?_

The men began to shift uncomfortably until Dian Wei pointedly turned attention away from her.

"Who's this?" he asked curtly. Zhi mentally thanked him while she got herself under control, listening to them speak as she did.

"It was a rout. He was the only survivor and surrendered. I will need your, ah, specialists to interrogate him, find out if he knows anything about other groups still in the area."

The prisoner yelled,

"There's no one else!"

Zhi sucked in a breath and rose abruptly to her feet. Her hiccups disappeared.

"Feng Tsi!" She growled.

Cao Ang turned to her.

"You know him?"

Zhi stabbed one of the heads of her spear into the ground and leaned on the shaft.

"Yes, he was a sergeant in my brother's platoon. My brother found out –" she broke off, tightly reining in her loathing. "He was raping women in the villages, threatening their families if they spoke out against him. Liang couldn't prove it, but he had this man transferred out of his unit."

Cao Ang's eyes narrowed in distaste and Feng Tsi bore the brunt of the hard glares of his captors. He cowered, but did not try to defend himself.

"Let me kill him."

The words were out of her mouth before she knew it; a malevolent whisper that was not entirely from the sane part of herself. Cao Ang glanced at her sharply and his voice was flat when he answered,

"We do not kill unarmed prisoners, Bai Zhi."

She did not reply, but she could not help but feel that the prisoner was better off dead. He was a bad man; letting him live would only give him the chance to escape and continue his evil ways. Unconsciously, she fingered the hilt of her dagger as she took her weight off of her spear. She glanced at Dian Wei, who was watching the exchange with interest. He offered no words however and she turned to gaze at Cao Ang evenly.

"He deserves to die."

"He may have information."

Zhi snorted.

"I doubt it. This son of a goat had the opportunity to make some hapless village his easy picking and took full advantage. If he – or any part of this group for that matter - is part of any organized resistance, then I am a duck. Besides, if I did not mistake your earlier words, you are about to torture him. On second thought, maybe that is a better idea," she finished, her voice grimly gleeful. "Dian Wei," she said, maintaining eye contact with Cao Ang. "Your interrogation techniques are quite effective, aren't they?"

"Quite," the big warrior responded dryly.

She and Cao Ang stared at each other. Without taking his gaze from her, Cao Ang said,

"There is to be no unsanctioned killing of unarmed prisoners. I don't know how else I can say it."

She fumed as he ordered his guards to prepare the prisoner for transportation but was too aware of her hunger to maintain the anger. She turned and smiled brightly at Dian Wei, feeling anything but cheerful.

"You mentioned food a minute ago?"

He opened his mouth to reply but sucked in a sharp breath as a commotion began somewhere behind her. She yelped in surprise when he snatched one of her daggers out of its sheath, flipped it to grasp it by the blade, and threw it with such force that she heard a quiet _thipht_ of air as he released it. She spun to see the running figure of Feng Tsi fall heavily with the dagger in his back and Cao Ang's guards closing in on him.

Dian Wei swore, and then muttered, "Too high."

Zhi launched into a run, drawing her remaining dagger. She and Dian Wei were closer than the others to the escaping prisoner as he staggered to his feet, clumsily attempting to pull the dagger from his back.

Without thinking, she dove for the backs of his knees. They fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs and Zhi was barely in time to block a savage swipe from her own blade. Then she felt the rush of his blood over her hands as she buried her dagger under his sternum and slanted it upward to catch his heart. Hate burned in his eyes as she whispered,

"Don't think you've escaped so easily. You will find justice in the next life."

She jerked her dagger loose and stood.

"Damn," Cao Ang muttered as he looked from the body to Zhi. "Well, you got your wish, I hope you're happy."


	7. As Embers Distress the Sky

**Can't believe it's been over a year, wrote most of this pretty recently, too. Tried to work on some character development here, set the kids up for their next campaign. Musical inspiration: 'The Unforgiven II' by Metallica, "March of Mephisto' by Kamelot, 'As Embers Distress the Sky' by Agalloch, 'Gone with the Sin' by H.I.M. … Original DW characters belong to Koei, etc. etc. Also, as I've uploaded documents, I noticed that some words, punction gets messed up. I'm trying to catch these; let me know if you find any, thanks! And enjoy!**

* * *

Zhi plopped herself into a seated position near the sidelines of the dancing, appropriated the nearly full cup of wine left by one of the dancers, and swallowed a mouthful with appreciation. Watching the people dance, she slowly focused her mind away from the revelry.

The bandits had stolen an astonishing amount of food and building supplies. Not to mention the wagons and horses it took to carry those supplies. Cao Ang was visibly disgusted with the thievery and ordered everything be returned to the nearby villages.

The first village they stopped at was thrilled with the return of their goods and relieved that they would be able to bring in their harvests without fear of being deprived of the fruits of their labors. So they had honored the soldiers with a celebration. And the trend had continued as they traveled slowly back to Cao Cao's castle, distributing the reacquired goods.

It had taken her a few hours after the battle to fully regain her magical strength and two days to recover her physical strength. She had eaten like she never had before in her life; as if she had been deprived of food for a week. Cao Ang had jokingly said she would rival Xu Zhu's size if she continued. But she noticed that Dian Wei had the same massive appetite and was reassured. She also noticed that she required more sleep, becoming exhausted in the early afternoon. Tonight was the first in the six days since the battle that she felt as if she had regained her former strength. She made a mental note to discuss the phenomena to Sima Yi.

Now she was pleasantly tired from the vigorous dancing. She had whirled with Cao Ang through the simple, yet fast-paced dances of country folk. She had feasted and drank and danced some more – the next time with what seemed like her entire platoon.

But she had missed one man and while she used her time sitting as an excuse to catch her breath, she was in reality looking for him.

Dian Wei sat alone, also indulging in the fine wine that the village produced as its main source of income. She briefly considered her own slightly intoxicated state.

_The wine here is **very** fine. A couple of cups… maybe... six? Eight? I lost count. Whatever the case, I have to bow before the power of my addiction._

Every once in a while, one of his men would approach him and speak. Zhi knew that even on this night, his elite soldiers were keeping them all secure. She studied him inconspicuously. Over the previous days, she had come to a conclusion.

There was definitely something that drew her to him. While she could admit that she was drawn to him physically, something else enticed her even more. She did not understand quite what it was, but she was determined to find out.

_It's not as if I'm adverse to the idea of getting close to him_, she thought wickedly.

And so, with all the courage of the truly inebriated, she got to her feet and carefully made her way to him.

He noticed her immediately, a primal darkness burning in his eyes, and she ignored her heart as it began to pound.

_Oh yes, there is definitely something there_, she thought. He makes me as brainless as teenage girl.

"It's going to rain," she said, surprising herself. It was not at all what she had intended to say. He seemed amused as he glanced up at the sky.

"Possibly," he replied noncommittally, returning his gaze to hers. She abruptly envied his ability to remain expressionless and tried to mimic his nonchalance.

"Dance?" she asked.

He stared at her for a moment, hawk-like eyes dominating her vision, before he set his cup down and rose to his feet. She had to tilt her chin up to look at him now; the top of her head just reached his shoulder. Wordlessly, he offered his hand and she places her fingers in his so he could lead her into the exuberant crowd.

It was wonderful. To be close to him was headier than any wine. So much so that she had difficulty keeping in step with the music. At one point he had to catch her to keep her from tripping. It was at that moment that the rain began to fall in a sudden downpour. The music cut off suddenly and with lighthearted shouts soldiers and villagers began to move for shelter. No one noticed the two of them, standing no more than a hand's width apart in the deluge. Zhi had no awareness of the rain or the people running for shelter, she was lost in the dark gaze of the man before her.

She couldn't help it, perhaps it was the wine that had loosened her inhibitions, but whatever the cause, Zhi took a step forward. She slid her arms around him and leaned her cheek on his chest, closing her eyes, inhaling his scent. For a moment, she thought she was holding a tree or a rock; so rigid did his body suddenly become and she wondered if perhaps she was mistaken in her perception of his feelings for her.

But gradually he relaxed and the joy she felt when his arms came around her was unmatched. He buried a hand in her hair, gripping the back of her skull, holding her closer. She had never felt so cherished, not even in Jin's arms. A breath of pure pleasure left her.

Rain poured down around them in sheets, drowning all of her awareness of the surrounding world. She only heard the steady beat of his heart, felt only the warmth of his body, smelled only the intoxicating scent of him. For that moment, nothing else mattered. In the arms of the grim warrior, she was finally whole.

* * *

Dian Wei's voice rumbled through his chest and his words were strangely clipped.

"Bai Zhi, we must talk."

Zhi opened her eyes languidly. She felt unattached to her body - dreamy and lethargic. Slowly, she shifted her head to look up at him. His gaze was intense, turbulent. She could not resist reaching up to brush her fingers along the tautness of his jaw.

"Woman," he growled in warning as his hand tightened in her hair.

"I don't think I can walk," she whispered.

He smiled and lowered his head to rest his forehead against hers.

"This is why we must talk – think of what would happen if I kissed you right now," he murmured, his lips inches from hers.

Zhi had no doubt. Her body was not in her control – similar to the bloodlust – with an obvious difference in circumstances. She reluctantly left the warmth of his arms. They regarded each other a bit warily now that a distance separated them until Zhi trembled a bit as awareness of her surroundings encompassed the chilly downpour. Immediately Dian Wei swept an arm around her shoulders and steered her in the direction of their camp. Despite the rain, the couple moved unhurriedly. Dian Wei waited while Zhi ducked into her quarters to grab dry clothing and then they entered the command tent. Zhi looked questionably at him as he seated himself across the table from her after they had changed.

He chuckled briefly,

"I do not trust myself near you at this moment; I only have so much self control. Cao Ang will be here soon. Can't give the boy a show."

Zhi sighed and clenched her hands into fists before her. A chuckle passed her lips involuntarily.

"So what are we going to do about this?" she asked.

Dian Wei regarded her steadily. "_Doushenka_," his voice caressed the strange, beautiful word, sending a shiver up Zhi's spine, "I must admit that I am… apprehensive… as to where this must lead us; and I will tell you why. You obviously have read the history of the mages – our ancestors. Clearly family lines have persisted over the years. I do not get my power from the Chinese, but rather a Northern strain, my mother's family. And I imagine that your village was possessed of another diluted strain of mages.

"My father," Zhi whispered. "My brother," her voice broke and she looked down.

"Our blood is different from others, Bai Zhi. Xu Zun is also of our race, but only you have retained the predisposition for magic."

He sat back and sighed, crossing massive arms over his chest.

"Our affection will grow in strength, Bai Zhi, much as the blood lust threatens to consume us. Much as your magic threatens your sanity."

A growing fear blossomed in Zhi's chest – cold.

"If we proceed with this," and his gaze burned her as Dian Wei injected the phrase with volumes of unspoken emotion, "you must realize that it will be one more distraction, an added threat to reasonable thinking, yet another need to keep under control. I have battled it since the moment you stood defiant before me in the moment of our first meeting."

"I see," she murmured. "And I agree." She looked up at him through her lashes. "But when have either of us denied our needs?"

Dian Wei tensed and stood abruptly. His power rolled off of him. Zhi followed suit and they gazed at each other from opposite sides of the table. Abruptly, Zhi felt like prey under his gaze. She felt her body go pliant as he moved around the table.

"Dian Wei! Bai Zhi!" Cao Ang's voice crashed through the tension as he entered the command tent, oblivious to the silent drama. The rain dripped from his clothing and he unbuckled his sword belt before dropping into onto a cot in the corner.

"Well, they know how to throw a party," Cao Ang said. "But we need to organize for departure tomorrow, rain or not." He dropped a crumpled scroll onto the table and retreated to his quarters to change into dry clothing. Zhi glanced at Dian Wei and picked it up. She read it quickly.

"General Dong Zhuo has retreated with the emperor to Hu Lao and will not respond to inquiries. The other lords are proposing an alliance…"

"You see," Wei murmured, "It never ends, the opportunities that threaten our sanity."

He moved around the table as Zhi laid the scroll down. He stopped before her and leaned to whisper in her ear. "But you are right, doushenka, neither of us will deny the chance to attempt to slake our thirsts despite the risks. We only wait for the perfect opportunity." He straightened and reached down to take her hand. He brought the palm to his lips, released her, and abruptly turned and left. Zhi struggled to tamp down her inner demon as the memory of his breath burned in her hand. She shook her head and called out to Cao Ang as she left the tent to assemble her platoons.

* * *

"Little girl, they did not feed you enough!" Huang Sen huffed as she dished another plateful of noodles, vegetables, and sauce out for Zhi. "Women need to be properly taken care of if they're going to be out playing soldier."

Zhi grinned up at the chattering woman as she bustled about the huge kitchen. Her aids jumped out of her way as she returned to Zhi's side with a hearty soup and a pot of aromatic tea.

"Aha! And here is Anli to fetch you back to your room!" Zhi looked up, her mouth full, as Anli entered the kitchen and plopped beside her. Anli leaned over and whispered to her,

"God, Zhi, you are disgusting when you shovel your food." Zhi blinked at her maid and with a perfectly neutral expression, twirled her chopsticks expertly and used them to stuff another mouthful. She chewed as Anli pretended nausea, then said,

"I am efficient, Anli."

The pretty maid giggled and said,

"That's a horrible excuse for your gluttony."

Zhi finished her meal with a flourish and stood. She bowed to Huang Sen and the girls left the kitchen arm in arm.

"Ugh, you stink, too. Is there no such thing as bath – are you humming?"

"No."

"You were! Oh!" Anli lowered her voice to a conspirator's whisper. "You've met somebody haven't you?"

"No!"

Anli was delighted. "You have! One of your soldiers, maybe?"

At Zhi's withering look, Anli shook her head. "Ah yes, the inter-rank fraternization issue. How dense of me. Oh! Please tell me you've stolen the heart of Cao Ang, heir to Lord Cao Cao's domain– those eyes…" she drifted off for a moment, and then returned her attention to the matter at hand.

"Well, if it's not a soldier, and it's not Cao Ang…" she pondered as they entered a courtyard.

At the other end, a group of men entered the courtyard. Zhi squinted and made out Cao Cao, Sima Yi, Cao Ang, and an unmistakable tall shadow behind them all.

"Dian Wei," Anli murmured in an undertone as the groups met and the girls bowed to the men.

"Bai Zhi, I am told you handled yourself capably and modeled proficient leadership on your campaign. Well done." Cao Cao said to her.

"I was well chaperoned, my lord," Zhi murmured from beneath modestly lowered lashes, hiding her annoyance with the man's misogyny.

"Yes, it was not chance that I sent you with two of my best and most trusted lieutenants. But both described your actions and assistance as indispensible. You will be well rewarded."

"Thank you, my lord," Zhi bowed as Cao Cao swept past her, followed by a grinning Cao Ang, who apparently could see through her modest act, and Sima Yi, who passed a small scroll into her hand. Dian Wei trailed unconcernedly behind all of them. As they passed by each other, his upper arm brushed her shoulder and he turned his head to gaze at her briefly before returning his attention to the others, who were leaving the courtyard, unaware of their exchange.

Anli waited until they were safely ion Zhi's room before she spoke,

"Okay, you need to tell me what happened right now, because frankly, I can't wait another moment! What happened between you and Dian Wei?"

Zhi snorted and began looking around for her bathing supplies.

"Nothing," she said with supreme disdain.

"Oh, please," Anli rolled her eyes. "I saw that little… _**thing**_ in the courtyard. Now tell!"

"I told, you, nothing. Where is my bathing stuff?"

Anli crossed her arms and shook her head.

"I'm not telling until you reveal all."

Zhi made a complete circuit around her room, coming up empty-handed of her soaps and robe.

"Ugh, fine. We danced and then I hugged him."

"A hug?" Anli sounded skeptical.

"Yes."

"That's all?! I have never seen that look in his face before, and you say it was a hug?!"

"Uh, well, we kind of bonded on the battlefield, and then… uh, come on Anli, I don't know! It's weird, I feel like I've known him forever, and…" her eyes glazed over and Anli took an involuntary step away from her.

"I feel like he is the only one who understands me, and whatever monster I have inside me, he has one as well. Two demons, meant to be together."

Anli sobered. "Zhi, you're not a monster. And even though he is the most frightening man I have ever known," she smiled weakly at Zhi, "I don't think he's a monster either. Lord Cao Cao trusts him like no other, I don't even think Sima Yi is in as close confidence with Cao Cao as Dian Wei. So there must be some honor there."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm sorry, Zhi, I shouldn't have intruded."

Zhi grinned at her, "It's okay, it's in the nature of nosy little gossips like yourself. Now where the hell did you put my bath stuff – I swear I haven't stopped stinking since I left!"

* * *

"Are these yours?" Anli asked distractedly later that afternoon as she rummaged through Zhi's gear, nose wrinkled in distaste.

"What?"

"Oh." Anli's tone was speaking volumes more than Zhi could guess at.

"_**What**_?"

"Umm, I guess they are yours," she said, passing a small, neatly wrapped leather bundle to Zhi as she moved closer to see what Anli had been asking about. Anli covered her mouth to hide her grin as Zhi frowned at the cramped script on the scroll attached.

_Your throwing technique is horrible._

_Find me when you feel the need to _

_correct it so that the expense of _

_these daggers is not wasted on_

_mediocre talent._

"That is the worst love letter I have ever read!" Anli burst out, unable to restrain herself.

Zhi gave her a withering look. "And how many love letters have you read?"

"Shut up, Zhi, you know what I mean. Look at you! You should see the sappy smirk you have plastered on your face! It's pathetic and adorable at the same time!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Zhi replied haughtily, while trying to stop grinning. She unwrapped the bundle and stopped short.

"Oh. These are lovely." She had expected a set of standard throwing knives. The set she found instead was of the highest quality metal, utterly devoid of adornment, and perfectly weighted for her hands. The Anli looked over Zhi's shoulder and shrugged.

"They look pretty plain to me."

"That's so they don't go off target when you throw them, half-wit," Zhi said as she finished braiding her hair back for practice, "It takes more skill to customize them to a particular person than it takes to tack on some gaudy gems."

Anli only smirked, so Zhi jerked the tie closed around the end of her braid and stalked out of the room. She smiled a bit to herself as Anli's delighted giggles followed her through the door.

* * *

"So is it true?"

"Is what true?" Zhi asked distractedly through clenched teeth as she strained against Xiahou Dun, their practice weapons locked.

"You and..." he lowered his voice, "…Dian Wei."

"You have to be joking!" Zhi snarled, wrenching her wooden stave from Dun's with a jerk and a smattering of splinters as her weapon broke in half. The commotion drew the attention of Xu Zhu and Xiahou Yun; they both ambled toward her with interested, identical grins.

"Asked her did you, Dun?" chuckled Zhu.

"How does everyone seem to know about this?!" Zhi practically shrieked in frustration.

"So it IS true!" crowed Yuan. "I knew it! Zhu you owe me – pay up!" The bigger man ignored Yuan and peered interestedly at Zhi.

"You see, Dian Wei is a normally stoic sort of fellow," he said, "and well…" Zhu looked at Dun for assistance.

"Well, he…" Dun looked at the other two men, shrugged, and leaned in toward Zhi, as if he were about to make a grave proclamation.

"He fidgets lately." They all nodded sagely and made male noises of assertion. Zhi stared at all three of them in consternation.

"He... _fidgets_?" Skepticism and sarcasm dripped from her words.

Zhi actually felt the urge to throw her hands in the air. Anli she could understand; the girl had seen them exchange glances, but Sima Yi and now the other lieutenants seemed to know everything. Xiahou Dun noticed her stricken expression.

"Don't be embarrassed, girl, we all think this is fantastic," he said.

"Yeah," Xu Zhu nodded energetically, "You see, there's never much opportunity to find a weak spot of Dian Wei's, and, well…" His words died off and Zhi turned on her heel and left the practice yard. Her muttering could be clearly heard by all three men who all grinned when they deciphered her monologue.

"Mouthy one, isn't she?" observed Xiahou Yuan.

* * *

_I've barely confirmed this relationship for myself, but everyone else seems to have figured it out and are sure this is real._

She found him in one of the lesser used practice courtyards and entered silently through a grey stone archway. The courtyard was open to the elements and smaller than the common yards. Stone weights were stacked neatly along the far wall and the open area was dotted with apparatus of the like she had never seen. Dian Wei was there, in the middle of a seemingly endless set of pull-ups.

Zhi did not make her presence known; indeed, she watched him in unabashed envy as he effortlessly pulled himself up in fluid movements. She was transfixed by the interplay of his back, shoulder, and arm muscles as they bunched and lengthened in synchrony to make his movements seem easy and seamless. He reached the end of his set and dropped to the ground. He shook his arms out, went through a short series of stretches that targeted the muscles he had just worked, then jumped a bit to reach the bar and begin another set.

She seemed to have gone into a daze, for she never did interrupt him; he must have eventually sensed her presence for he stopped in mid-raise, biceps swelling, before he dropped to the ground and turned to face her. Without taking his eyes from her, he reached for a nearby scrap of cloth and ran it over his head, arms and chest before draping it around his shoulders. Neither of them said a word. Zhi could feel herself trembling, a result of the tenseness of her muscles as she remained under his scrutiny.

She choked back a laugh as she recalled Xiahou Dun's words – fidgeting indeed – the man before her was a pillar of reserve.

Or perhaps she made her judgment too soon for suddenly he was stalking toward her. Startled, she backed up awkwardly, bumping hard into the courtyard wall just as he reached her. He placed his palms flat on the wall near her head and leaned in. The speed at which he moved was somewhat intimidating.

"So here we are again," he whispered, bringing his forehead to hers and closing his eyes. Zhi found that she was having trouble catching her breath.

"Throwing daggers," she managed to wheeze as her thoughts scattered. His husky chuckle of reply sent her heart into overdrive and she seriously wondered for a moment if her racing heartbeat might cause her to faint.

"Be quiet, _milaya_," he murmured as he bent his head to brush his lips across the sensitive skin on her neck. One of her hands came up to drape languidly over his shorn scalp. _Damn thing_.

"Dian Wei," she said hoarsely as his lips skimmed over her pulse, trying desperately to remember why she had come, "I am frightened."

He paused, and then slowly raised his head to gaze at her.

"I have told you before never to fear me."

"I don't fear you, I fear _**us**_."

"Believe me when I tell you that no repercussions will come of our being together; in any event, Lord Cao Cao will likely be all the more delighted that you have formed yet more ties to his cause," his voice became bitter.

"I apologize for that," he said, stepping away from her and bringing his hands up to clench in the towel draped over his shoulders.

"You have no reason to apologize," she replied, not liking the way his eyes narrowed and his jaw became rigid. She moved closer to him and stood on tiptoes to hesitantly brush her lips across the tautness of his jaw, balancing herself with her palms on his chest. When he did not respond, she sighed and slid her arms around him, laying her cheek against him at the level of his heart. She felt right holding him like this, lulled by the steady rhythm of his heart.

"I never expected you to forgive me for my part in your abduction."

The statement was abrupt and Zhi's arms tightened about him as a wave of pain stemmed from the unknown fate of her brother swept over her.

"I never expected to either," she answered hoarsely, closing her eyes to ward off the emotions that began to assail her. Something in her voice or her touch affected him and his arms came around her. Abruptly, the anguish receded, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"I promise you," he said, his voice fierce, "That no harmful repercussions of our relationship will fall on you because of Lord Cao Cao."

"How can you promise that?" she asked, her voice muffled from within his embrace.

Dian Wei smiled humorlessly over her head.

"You forget I have been serving him for over ten years. I have observed much of his character and I know him well. We are both valuable weapons in his employ."

When he Zhi did not respond, he continued.

"I don't think it is Cao Cao that you fear."

She could not voice her fear about the complication of her powers. Her voice was small as she answered him,

"Actually, I would feel better if I could go spar."

He laughed.

"I'll have to remember that with you, violence is the ultimate solution."

* * *

They entered the common courtyard. Dian Wei's larger body completely blocked out her slighter form behind him as he moved into the open area and initially no one noticed her beside him. Xiahou Dun and Xiahou Yuan stopped sparring long enough to shout greetings. Dian Wei selected a heavy practice stave long enough to be a broadsword. Zhi retrieved a wooden stave that was a fingersbreadth longer than she was tall. Entering one of the marked practice circles, the two faced off.

Neither man nor woman noticed as the shouts of the courtyard quieted and stopped completely as officers and soldiers alike noticed the odd pair regarding each other gravely from opposite sides of the circle. Indeed, it was almost laughable to see the huge bodyguard in the circle with the admittedly tall, but comparatively small woman.

Zhi executed a series of moves designed to stretch and warm up the muscles of her wrists, forearms and shoulders as Dian Wei hefted his wooden sword experimentally. Some unspoken word passed between them and they suddenly charged each other. Every man in the courtyard expected Dian Wei to hold back on his swings but the big man surprised them all when he swung his sword straight at Bai Zhi with unrestrained power. Zhi deflected the blow and grunted in pain as the vibrations in the stave hit her palms like a hammer. Her teeth actually seemed to vibrate in her mouth as she attempted – and failed – to absorb the blow. She backed off hurriedly and circled him as he settled into his fighting stance, a menacing hulk that nevertheless managed to move gracefully.

_Aha!_ she thought in sudden understanding _No wonder I have had such a hard time fighting the men in sparring circle – Sima Yi was right, I cannot try to outmuscle a man_.

What should have been obvious from the beginning was now embedded deeply in her mind. She thought it appropriate that it was this man who finally got the point across to her. Using her speed as an advantage against the big, slower moving warrior, she darted into his weapon's range and was able to match him blow for blow; the resulting mock battle was a fine display of pure strength against speed and timing.

Breathing heavily, her muscles taut, Zhi attempted to twist Dian Wei's practice sword from his hand. Unfortunately, she miscalculated her timing and his hand strength and the answering blow from him snapped her stave into two uneven pieces. Using her momentary surprise to his advantage, Dian Wei, brought one of his feet behind her ankle, used a palm strike on her opposite shoulder, and unceremoniously dumped her to the ground. The longer of the two pieces fell from her hand as he pinned her wrist with a knee and laid the 'edge' of his sword at her throat.

He was slightly taken aback when, instead of calling yield, she grinned up at him. From all around them a collective gasp of male consternation arose. For Zhi still clutched the shorter wooden piece, approximately the length of her forearm, with the point held mere inches from what would be – for a man – a very painful and incapacitating injury.

She giggled at the expression that crossed his fierce countenance as he came to that realization. He abruptly backed away from her. Laughter and good-natured jeers commenced as he held his hand out to help her to her feet. With animated conversation, soldiers returned to their practice. Xiahou Dun stepped out of the crowd.

"She's getting to be quite good," he commented in an aside to Dian Wei as Zhi went to the racks to find a different staff. Dun watched the big warrior in interest as Dian Wei followed Zhi's movements with an unreadable expression.

"Yes she has," the big warrior said quietly. He turned to Dun, expressionless. "And I suppose it was you or your cousin that taught her that trick?"

Dun held his hands up defensively.

"Wouldn't have had to teach that trick to a woman, my brother! They're born knowing that one." As both men turned back to watch her, they shuddered in unison.

* * *

Zhi returned to her rooms later that evening, only to be beset by Anli, who was fluttering about, waving a piece of paper.

"You're leaving next week for Si Shui!"


	8. Damned and Divine

**Dialogue has been difficult for me to make believable, so I'm saying 'screw it' and transitioning to a more slang-y, modern diction. Artistic license or simple laziness? You decide. Musical inspiration: 'Lucifer's Angel' by the Rasmus, 'Seraphic Deviltry' by Theatre of Tragedy, 'Damned and Divine' by Tarja, Disturbed, Godsmack… Credits of course go to koei for the original game characters, simulations of the historical battles, and the absolutely awesome double mosou; if you can time it right! :P**

* * *

"I cannot understand how you do this all the time!" Anli voice dripped disgust as she plucked at her light travel armor and shifted uncomfortably in her saddle.

"Sorry, friend," Zhi returned. "I needed a chaperone. Our Lord's orders." Zhi could barely manage the latter statement with a straight face; she could not resist curling her lip. God, she hated that arrogant bastard.

"And, what do you mean 'All the time'? I've only been out on a real campaign once."

"You know what I mean, you jerk," Anli sighed and brooded for a moment, her pouty lower lip sticking out a bit, then brightened.

"I do think it's cool that I get to learn how to use a crossbow, though. And can I play with your throwing daggers? Do you really think I can pull off being a secret bodyguard?"

"If you can keep your mouth shut, you'll be great," Zhi grinned at her. "And stay away from my knives, you greedy war monger!"

"I can't wait for the parties, and the food, and the –"

"Where do you think we're going?" Zhi asked in amusement. "The ball? We are going to WAR."

"Pfftt! I know you military people have this sweet little deal called 'R&R.'" Anli scoffed.

"Rest and relaxation, my lily white ass!" She lowered her voice and winked. "You didn't start that little _thing _with lover boy during '_R&R_!'"

"First of all, your ass is probably not so white and smooth anymore," Zhi continued as Anli tittered and one of the nearby soldiers made a coughing sound that sounded more like a choked off laugh, "And second, I'm going to acquaint you with rest and relaxation methods myself if you don't stop calling him _lover boy_!" Zhi heard a quickly muffled guffaw and glanced over at her First Platoon Sergeant. When the man saluted her with a mischievous glint in his eyes, she smirked and snapped her fingers. As a short crack of thunder startled the nearby horses, the man jumped and dropped his pike. As he stumbled to catch his weapon and surreptitiously began rubbing his wrist, his men began to chuckle. Zhi turned back around. Anli reined her horse closer.

"What did you do?"

"Zapped his hand."

"Zhi! You can't do that to your own people!" Anli was aghast with self-righteous horror. Zhi rolled her eyes.

"Why not? It was funny. Plus, he was being disrespectful. I don't mind them sharing in the joke, but that smart ass salute undermines my authority."

"None of the other officers do things like that."

"That's because A) They can't, and B) they're men. I have to lead a bit differently because I'm a woman."

"Why?"

"How many women are officers, Anli? I know the Sun family has a daughter who may become one fairly soon, but she's royal. I don't have that advantage."

"How did you learn these things?"

"When I started with the Yellow Turbans, I was promoted way before I was ready just because of my abilities. Obviously, the men didn't appreciate the quick rise in rank. There were a couple of – incidents – and I had to hurt some of them."

"What happened?" Anli's eyes were huge.

"I, ah, I was almost raped. I burned one of them pretty badly and, er, another one, I cut off a couple of his fingers. Should've cut off something else, but I wasn't in a position to be picky. I don't know if the burnt one ended up dying or not," Zhi shrugged. "And honestly, after what he tried to do, I don't really care. But the others respected me more after that and whenever we got new recruits, I made it my personal goal to scare the hell out of them early on. Never had any problems after that."

Anli was silent for a time. Zhi rubbed her arms briskly. She had never spoken of those terrifying first few days in command to anyone so candidly – not Jin, not even her brother. She suspected that both men had known on a certain level that it had happened, but neither approached the subject and she had preferred it that way.

"So why'd Lord Cao Cao decide you needed a chaperone for _this_ campaign? I mean, you went gallivanting off to take care of those bandits without another woman around." Zhi snorted.

"Something about how this was a coalition and that his allies would look upon it as scandalous that I was the only woman in camp and that I would ruin the image of his proficiency as a leader."

"Is that what he said?!" Anli was appalled at her Lord's apparent frankness.

"Of course not! He honey-coated the whole speech. It was actually pretty impressive; I couldn't have done it with a straight face." Zhi smiled. "I thought Xiahou Dun was going to hurt himself when the whole 'protecting our women from immoral advances' phrase came out." Anli sniggered daintily.

"I don't think that'd be a problem; between your history and – _**lover boy**_ – you'll be covered!" Just as Zhi opened her mouth to return fire, a courier galloped from the front of the marching column to meet them. He saluted quickly and kneed his horse closer.

"We're arriving, Lieutenant. Lord Cao Ang needs you to send a man ahead to settle berthing."

"Very good, Corporal." The man nodded and kicked his horse into a gallop towards the rear. Zhi turned in her saddle to face the Sergeant she had reprimanded earlier.

"Sergeant Jiang."

"Ma'am?"

"Take my chaperone's horse and make sure we get a good site."

"Yes, ma'am!" Anli tossed her the reins, which Zhi looped over her saddle horn. As the sergeant jogged up and down his platoon, issuing orders to squad leaders, she held out her arm and aided Anli into the saddle behind her. Zhi handed over the reins as he mounted. Anli sighed in apparent bliss.

"Does this mean we get to sleep in the good tents now?"

"Yes, we get to sleep in the good tents now."

* * *

Zhi barely managed to stifle a yawn as the assembled generals and lords finally concluded their first war meeting. Making a mental note to meet with her Platoon Leaders to adjust the watch-standing rotations, she joined the queue of men heading out of the tent.

It seemed that autumn had arrived early and she hoped that the supply lines were set up soon so she could request cold weather gear for her men. Shivering a bit in the chilly evening air, she hurried through the still unfamiliar camp layout. Cao Cao's commanders preferred a different footprint from the Yellow Turban generals; overall it was a more efficient use of space, but she continually found herself in the wrong section of camp.

Consequently, she arrived at her personal command tent after her Sergeants had arrived for evening muster. She entered, bowed in apology, and hastily gave out her orders.

"Si Shui Gate is an hour's march from here. We will be providing support to the special forces unit that will be out doing recon, so expect our first movements to be night ops. We will maintain a Moon formation about their flanks and rear. A mobile medical unit and crossbow squad will be joining us as well. Light sword, those with hatchet-throwing abilities may bring their kit, medium armor, and three day's worth of rations. Terrain is old growth forest, hilled, and there may be some ravines so bring light climbing gear. Standard preparation protocol should be followed; we muster the day after tomorrow at dusk. Dismissed."

The dawn found Zhi in the sparring circle with Cao Ang, working on new techniques with her weapon. Mid-morning was reserved for equipment inspections and last minute repairs to weapons and armor. By noon, Zhi was heading through Headquarters Battalion, thinking of grabbing a quick nap after lunch when she noticed a commotion in the main open square before Cao Cao's tent.

A few of the military leaders she recognized from the previous night's war meetings, notably the unassuming and quiet Liu Bei, were chatting with Cao Ang and Xiahou Dun. He was flanked by two men whose names she could not remember… Ah yes, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. When Xiahou Dun spotted her, he waved her over and introduced her.

"We're waiting for them to finish digging that hole for the main banners," Dun said when introductions were complete, pointing to a group of soldiers struggling with a long, thick pole and the heavy Wei banner. He nudged Zhi with his elbow and leaned down to whisper in her ear,

"That great moron skulking about next to Liu Bei thinks he can best Dian Wei in a contest of strength." Xiahou Dun gestured towards Guan Yu with his chin.

"What did he do?" Zhi whispered back. Dun snorted.

"Lifted a couple barrels full of water."

"Of _water_?? Wow." Dun scoffed again.

"Bah! Dian Wei has something better planned. Just watch."

A sort of commotion ran through the crowd as the men finished attaching the banner to the pole and then stepped away from the whole thing. Zhi stared, trying to figure out what was going to happen, and then her eyes widened as she took in the whole set-up. She stood on her tiptoes, clutching Dun's forearm while trying to see around the crowd that was milling about, and said,

"He's not going to life that by himself is he?" Dun chuckled.

"Yup, it's pretty amazing. I've never seen him do it, but it wouldn't surprise me."

"But –"

"Shut up! Here he comes."

Shouts of encouragement rang out intermittently in the quiet that followed and Dian Wei entered the cleared area. He began stripping his weapons and armor. The weapons in particular took a while to shed and masculine laughter punctuated the crowd's noise as daggers and mysterious blades made a surprisingly big bristling pile. Wei arched a sardonic brow at Guan Yu and was replied to with more laughter. The two giant men glared at each other for a moment and then Dian Wei suddenly removed his tunic and undershirt. Cao Cao's men cheered and Zhi tugged on Dun's sleeve.

"What's the big deal?" she asked. Dun grinned.

"I had no idea he could play a crowd like that. Oh, Guan Yu ripped his tunic right down the back went he lifted those barrels. Or maybe our boy just likes to show off."

Dian Wei walked over to the pole, lying ready to be lifted into position. He squatted low and lifted the end before beginning to walk it upright. The length of the pole would work against him as he moved closer to the base and as the tip, heavy with its burden, moved higher into the air. The crowd fell silent as Dian Wei moved the thing up higher and higher, muscles bulging alarmingly.

_Hmmmm_… Zhi thought to herself. _That's too easy, let's give him a little bit of a challenge_. She raised her palm. A gentle breeze built, fluttering the heavy banner minutely. Over by Cao Cao, Sima Yi glanced at her sharply. Zhi grinned a little and then concentrated.

A strong wind burst through the camp suddenly, sending tunics flapping and dust flying. The big Wei banner unfurled to its fullest and billowed in the wind. Shouts of alarm sounded as the pole lowered a bit.

With the wind maintaining itself, Zhi turned her attention back to Dian Wei, and then her mouth went slack. The man just grunted and steadied the pole for a moment. Finally, chest heaving, he began to move forward again and with a great final effort, the pole slid into its hole and flew all the way upright. The banner billowed in the breeze regally and some sort of leering chant began among the gathered troops. Guan Yu looked murderous while Zhang Fei chuckled.

Zhi sniggered to herself while Dian Wei caught his breath until she caught Dun regarding her curiously. He looked solemn for a moment until a grin broke out across his face and he said,

"I am so telling him!" He darted off through the crowd that was now beginning to disperse.

"No! Come back!" she hurried off after him.

* * *

Dusk settled over the land the next day. Zhi's platoons began patrols and recon missions with both Dian Wei's and Xu Zhu's special forces. Sima Yi had chastised her for the flagpole trick but Dian Wei had bellowed with such honest laughter that he left off, leaving Zhi grinning smugly.

There were times that Zhi felt like she had imagined all of her previous encounters with Dian Wei. For all outward appearances, nothing had happened or was happening between them. Then again, every once in a while she'd find herself standing before him, caught by his eyes. Every time Zhi had to stop to reorganize her thoughts, forcibly think about her accelerated heart rate, and tamp down the power that his presence seemed to call to. She hoped like hell that he was having the same problems because she felt like an utter idiot when it happened.

It only took a single week of gathering intel before the warlords deemed it time to begin the assault on the gate. For two days straight, Zhi was in council meetings and had to rely heavily on her sergeants to make sure her platoons were ready for combat. During the final meeting between their own officers, Cao Cao placed her platoons under Cao Ang's command and assigned her temporarily to Dian Wei's unit. His and Xu Zhu's men had been given the assignment to approach the enemy archer and crossbow units from either side of the ravine that led to the gate itself and signal the allies when it was clear. It was an extremely important task that would determine the outcome of the battle and would require both stealth and speed to accomplish. The downside was that they would miss the majority of the battle and the assault on the gate. Both berserkers did not appear too pleased at that, but both inclined their heads silently in assent and accepted the honor they were given. Grudgingly.

Zhi had just finished picking her machete and spear up from the blacksmith and was heading back to her tent when she decided to detour. The stars seemed especially bright in the cool air and she found herself standing at the edge of one of the many ravines in the area, a stand of trees between her and the camp. It was relatively quiet for once, the dark washed over her and she felt like she belonged there. In the shadows. Still, something seemed to be missing…

Ah. Perfect. The cadence of his footsteps was unmistakable and she brought her hands up to rest on his forearms as he stopped behind her and put his arms around her shoulders. She leaned back into him as he rested his chin on top of her head.

Silence. And a perfect communion between two people who barely knew each other. Zhi knew exactly what this was, a private goodbye. While death could happen at any time to either of them, tomorrow was an actual battle. Death would be happening all around them. Just because Wei was one of the most powerful warriors in the land and Zhi was in possession of an unbelievable set of powers, a single stray arrow or wayward thrust of a peasant's sword could end them. Every warrior was used to death; they spent their lives bringing it to whatever enemy got in their way. Zhi's regret was not being able to say goodbye to those she had loved. She felt blessed to have this time with this man.

She eventually ended up back in her tent, glad that the stars had shone only faintly on them in the dark. She was starting to feel quite at home there, both damned and divine.

* * *

Zhi rubbed at her smudged face as she made her way in the silent column of men through the forested cliffs overlooking the ravine leading to Si Shui Gate. There had been no speech, all buckles had been tied with strips of cloth, all metal rubbed with the same grease/soot mixture that kept oozing into Zhi's eyes as she sweated. All communication was through hand signals. They were deep within enemy territory, their target destination a string of watch towers running along the cliffs. Most of the men were in position. It had taken then entire night to move stealthily through the woods, avoiding detection of the enemy scouts, but they had done it. And now she and Dian Wei were approaching the last watchtower.

They sat back to back and took turns dozing, waiting for dawn to break and the signal to be sounded. They did not have to wait for long. Full light had not even broken when a single, sustained horn note sounded. Immediately, Zhi and Wei leapt to their feet. They drew their throwing weapons at a full sprint through the foliage. Dian Wei took the first sentry easily with a dagger through the eye before the man could even ascertain where they were coming from. One quick jerk and he had his dagger back in his hand. An arrow whirred past Zhi's ear as they burst from the foliage before the watchtower to a startled but efficient group of archers.

Zhi flexed her fingers and set the tower floor on fire. The wooden building caught quickly and soon the archers were leaping from the thing – right into the twin blades of Zhi's spear and half-moon of Wei's axe. Not one archer was a match for either warrior and the remaining couple of soldiers fled in terror. Not even breathing hard, Zhi stepped away from the collapsing tower and lowered her spear.

"Damn, it's right _there_," Zhi breathed. She felt Dian Wei step closer to stand beside her. Looming before them was Si Shui, the gates sealed. The cliffs at first glance appeared to be non-traversable. Until Zhi took a closer look.

"Look," she breathed, placing a hand on Wei's wrist.

It was a perfect little trail, barely wide enough for a single person to pass at a time, hidden among the brush and scree. She looked up to see him chuckle menacingly.

"Perfect," he said. Looking down at her, he quirked up an eyebrow.

"It'll take most of the morning to get through that, so let's move before we miss the fight!

The trail provided an excellent view of the flat land before the gate and the battle that began upon it. War machines, siege engines, perfectly formed battalions in various formations moved across it like pieces on a chess board. It was fascinating to watch.

"I think we should hit up that group over there," Dian Wei said as they hurried down the little path. Our forces are outnumbered and will be severely weakened by the time we get over there. Then, when the gate falls, we'll be in a good position to get in."

The sun was almost midway into the sky when the two broke free of their descent and ran out into the open. Dian Wei vaulted into the saddle of a wandering horse, holding his hand out as he galloped toward her. She grasped it and he flung her into the saddle behind him. They galloped around clashing platoons until they reached a platoon under Lui Bei's banner struggling against the superior numbers of the enemy general Hua Xiong.

Dian Wei did not even pull the horse to a stop before he leapt off, axe in the air, to crash into a bunched group. They scattered like leaves before the wind and Zhi could not get off the horse fast enough.

Oh how she had missed this. The heady power of a true battle. Madness took hold quickly and she welcomed the reddened haze. Every impact of her blades through flesh built upon her momentum, making her faster, stronger. Somewhere nearby, she could sense Dian Wei's movements and she instinctively began to move toward him. Fighting in opposite directions they nonetheless were able to time their movements to create a synchrony of impacts that helped to direct Zhi's awareness of the elements around them.

A moment in time seemed to crystallize. Both of their weapons reached the apex of their swings at the exact same instant. Zhi drew in a breath, let it out….

And released fire.

Beside her, Dian Wei let out a roar that she echoed. Fire flickered at the edges of their blades and air added impetus to their swings. In seconds, they tore through every single parry attempt and wiped out half of the enemy forces. For a stunned moment, Zhi wondered if she truly was going insane. One point of her spear came to rest on the ground before her as her vision doubled and blurred. She and Dian Wei had come to a halt face to face and he appeared to be momentarily confused as well.

Then his eyes focused. She saw his pupils dilate before he reached out to her, tossing her effortlessly out of his path as he ran down a group of hapless soldiers. Zhi reached skyward, clenched her fist and brought it down in an abrupt jerk. Lightning cracked into Dian Wei's targeted group and he stopped short. Zhi laughed and darted past him.

They eventually reached the first duel Zhi had ever seen. Of course, they were too late and watched as the big warrior Guan Shu forced the general Hua Xiong into retreat.

"So much for Hua Xiong," Dian Wei said scathingly.

It seemed so. The gates were broken through. The enemy was retreating. Zhi raised her spear and her voice in victory. Si Shui was theirs.


End file.
